sadness. the first word of February 28th.

Liverpool lost to Chelsea. the worst part is that the captain, of all people, scored an own goal to top off his below par performance. sadness.

Dom, Kenneth and Lan are at my place now. venting our frustrations on the xbox. we should all just go down to the court and play soccer now. i don't think anyone would be there at 3am [you think?]. oh well. it's a few hours to the results. i can't help but feel a double whammy coming on. Liverpool's loss, then a horrible result slip. i have a really really bad feeling that it will happen. i'm kind of down now, and i think i'll be feeling like i'm underneath hell after i get my results. i'm not relishing the countdown. sadness. the gig's coming up. i hope i wouldn't be too despondent after the results. i have a bad feeling that i'll get a large number. this number just keeps popping up in my head and it's not pretty. so much for feeling nervous. there's nothing i can do now. sadness.

sigh, sadness.

"To every broken heart in here..."

i think i'm crazy. i just had 3 consecutive cans of coke. one before dinner, one during and one after. so now, i feel sick. no surprise there really. well what was i supposed to do? the cartons of coke were screaming to me, "drink meee! drink meee!" they have to be finished anyway right?

anyways, before i start hurling violently, the good/bad news is that the results are on Monday, the 28th. the good thing about that is, there would be a 5 day break to decide your future; that means no school for the week. woo hoo! the bad thing is, the anxiety, worrying and altogether shittiness of waiting for the results is prolonged.

okay, i just realised that i have finished an entire pack of Kit Kats at this point of the entry. oh god help me. i'm on a sweet binge.

okay, stomach's working up now. i don't think coke and Kit Kat are good friends.

alright, i got to speed this up.

school was another mundane affair today. boring lectures, boring tutorials. at least we played mini-softball for PE. i think (s)RJC grows on you. i think at some point in time i'll be thinking of memories i have in SR.

i'm freaking myself out lately. today was a fine example. when i got home from school, exhausted from PE, i went straight to the kitchen toilet to wash my uniform and prepared the mopping pail. i put on my lostprophets CD in the mini-hi-fi in the living room and turned it up to volume level 12. then i started sweeping the entire house, wiped the floor a second time with the MagicClean(TM) wiping sheet and mopped it. all the while head-banging to the legend that is the lostprophets. crooning with Ian Watkins was fun. although my face was red from zhao sia-ing all the time, i thoroughly enjoyed it. Ian Watkins is one of my all-time favourite vocalists, along with Jason Wade from Lifehouse and others.

i'm wondering how is it that artistes from the states get global recognition so easily and quickly, whereas acts from Asia barely get a second glance? is there a stigma attached to Asia? i know there's a stigma for football cause the football in Asia really sucks. but music? i don't see the artistes from the US being any different than some acts from Asia. the US has shaped the music world so much that you have to sound American to be recognised and get noticed. it's weird how every artiste that sings in English has to sing with an American accent. is it wrong to sound local? Electrico's David Tan doesn't sound local when he sings, the Too Phat dudes sound like real African-Americans. does music lose it's appeal just because you don't sound like you're from America? even Irish boyband, Westlife and British boybands like Busted sing like Americans. only a few bands from Britain refrain from singing like Americans and that gives them a unique sound. Coldplay, Keane and Oasis are some examples. i must confess, Werd's vocalists sound like Americans too. it's like a prerequisite to sing in that manner if you are to sing at all. i guess it portrays excellent diction from the singer. remember Sly? the way he murdered the songs with horrible diction [keees from a rose], made him lose out to Taufik. i guess singing like an American means you have good diction. oh well, fair enough. good diction seems to be a fair enough reason. but that still doesn't solve the problem of Asian artistes being confined to their continent and not making it big overseas. perhaps it's because American artistes are welcomed with open arms as big as Asia, into Asia. face it, we worship the West. they are everything we want to be. looks, money, power. they seem to have it all. their influence on the East is fast growing. i think there's also the perception of Asia as being primitive, under-developed and uneducated. let's face it, it would be weird to see a bunch of white people moshing to an Asian band but it won't look weird if Asians are seen moshing to an American band. i think, in order for perceptions to change, Asian bands would have to work hard to expand their horizons. it's great that Electrico went on tour in Australia. what Asian acts need are more publicity and exposure to the West. it's a shame really cause there are really a lot of talented bands out there. i'm also a fan of Rivermaya from the Phillipines. i like their sound. not to mention a little aspiring 4-piece from Singapore trying to live a dream? [Werd la.] i think Asian acts are on the rise. they're riding waves to the West. hopefully the West would take notice and maybe the world would be less biased about where music is from and enjoy it because it's good and not because it's from a certain country.

"i can make it on my own.."

oh die. wednesday: today. friday: oh die.

i had just finished mopping the floor when i realised that i had no food for lunch. i checked my wallet and said, "No moolah for food la!" i checked for instant noodles. they had magically disappeared. i was dying of starvation. i wanted to beg for money to buy food, or maybe steal something from the convenience shop downstairs. my stomach was growling like T-Rex and my hands were shaking. suddenly, the doorbell rang. i was already in an irritable mood since i had no food. i looked at the peep hole to see who it was. i saw a figure in a white shirt hurrying away. i opened the door to see if he had left anything on my doorstep. there was nothing but just as i was about to close the door and go back to my moping, the smell of food danced into my nasal canal. i looked to the left at the shoe rack and saw a stack of clear plastic boxes wrapped in a plastic bag. what's so magical about that? the boxes contained FOOD. salvation!

i grabbed the bag and opened all the boxes and tucked in. i felt alive again. as i was eating, i wondered about the figure who left me the food. was he an angel? maybe they DO exist. but why would angels go around leaving food for people? well, there are many stories in the bible about angels appearing and providing food for those lost in the desert. had i experienced the divine? was the food from heaven? or maybe it was just some anonymous Good Samaritan with the ability to detect starving people and give them food. if so, he's needed in tsunami affected countries. his "starvation sense" would go crazy. so i was eating and pondering, when i noticed a slip of laminated paper on the corner of the dining table. curious, i grabbed it and read what it said. it looked like a schedule and had food items written all over it.

i stumbled upon this: "Thursday, 23 Feb: Plum-sauce chicken, braised tau kee and daily vegetables"

it was a catering service. so much for the angel or the anonymous Good Samaritan with psychic abilities. it was only a delivery guy.

so much for that. school kind of sucked today. everyone who tried to pon got caught. two of my classmates who tried to pon in the morning got caught by our civics tutor. then, after maths lecture, Phyllis and i tried to pon but got caught by a PE teacher. damn it. oh, and i have to cancel tennis tonight cause of some last night of chinese new year dinner thing. damn it. sorry DENNIS, can't make it for TENNIS. sorry, couldn't help myself.

have i mentioned the two rocking original creations by Werd? it was a Monday night and we were waiting for all the damn mat bands to finish all their shit songs. it was sad and absurd to see so many lamers in the damn jamming place. Maybe it was only Wee Lee that has so many lamers. literally EVERY room had lamers in them. it was sad to see jamming become a lamer thing. boon had rooms fully booked. next time we should just book rooms from boon. the acts there have CLASS. i frequently see this guy who plays drums and sings for a jazz band that plays in the Hard Rock Cafe there. anyways, 'The Singer" and "On My Own" turned out great. it was amazing how fast we clicked to get everything together. it was like a invisible link. the drums slowed when they were supposed to slow and vice-versa. kudos to Dom on that part, even though he was a bit rusty. Vic was sublime at the bass. he caught on really quick and it was good to see him connect with the songs and he was visibly having a good time playing them. Kelvin and i were surprised at how fast it took to get the drums and bass together. we thought it would take longer since it was a long time since we jammed. oh well, two down, two to go. the riffs are ready and our lyrical tongues are at our disposal. onward!

is it 'chup goh meh' or 'chap gor meh'? who cares. it just means food and a mad dash to give out last minute red packets.

for Werd's face with the bass, sing this one man:
"I'd give it up for just one more day with you
Give it up for just one more day
I'd give it up for just one more day with you

I'd give it up for just one more day with you
Give it up, give it all away
I'd give it up for just one more day with you

We'll be miles apart
I'll keep you deep inside
You're always in my heart
A new life to start
You may be leaving but you're always in my heart

I need you now, we're miles apart
I'll keep you deep inside
You're always in my heart
I need you now, we're miles apart
You may be leaving but you're always in my heart"

relax la bro. things happen for a reason. just be patient and see what life has in store for you.

"We'll see what we see
Yeah, we'll be what we'll be
We'll feel what we feel
If it's fake or real

So from now till then
When the world spins again
I will wait for you there
Yes, i'll see you there"

the story of february 19th 2005...

woke up at 9 am to play some football with kelvin, colin and kenneth. it wasn't the highlight of my day and i don't really want to talk about it. so, yeah, football in the morning.

ah heck! CHINGAY WAS JUST TOO BLOODY HAPPENING TO WAIT FOR ME TO DESCRIBE.

i got my hot pink shirt, which is quite cool by the way, and sat at orchard park, waiting for the whole procession to start. i didn't go for the preview, so i didn't know what to expect; which is in a way, better. the sea of pink was too bright to go unnoticed as we all walked to our respective sections. i was in section 1, outside tangs and wisma, at the VIP section where the president was. a few of them re-wrote the SRJC cheer into the SR Nathan cheer. it fit so nicely, almost as if it was destined for him. i was at the starting point for the parade and where all the cameras and celebrity hosts were. there was kym ng, that dude who acted in double happiness and two other folks whose names i don't know.

oh okay, after some searching, the hosts were:Dasmond Koh, Jeff Wang, Kym Ng, Quan Yi Feng.

anyways, it was quite surreal seeing them in person cause you always see them on TV. they were really smaller than they looked. there were these caucasians who were dressed up as gods of fortunes; one from Belgium, one from England. they were rehearsing their introduction of the president and i couldn't help but unleash Herbert and imitated the English 'cai shen' when he rehearsed his lines. the Belgium dude sounded, evil.

that entire stretch of orchard road that was closed [from wisma to heeren] was fully prepped for the parade. tall aluminum frames, hanging a sick amount of lights, wrestled the with the trees for space. there were gianormous speakers attached to the frames and set up along the roads. it was like one giant gig. oh, it IS one giant gig.

so anyways, some Harley Davidson enthusiasts brought their choppers to start things off. they stopped at where i was and revved their engines like there was no tomorrow. a lot of them hit the gas so hard that you could see flames flickering out of the exhaust amidst the loud popping sound you get when you hit it too hard. the low humming of the engines was 'whoa'. i swear many femmes were going, 'orgas' in their heads when they heard and FELT it, cause it was so loud that it resonated through your body. the crowd followed the lead rider with a wave as they went back and forth the stretch of road.

that was what you didn't see on TV. when the actual thing started, the cai shengs announced the arrival of the president and all that. you know, same shit you see on national day. so anyways, the president kicked off the parade with one awesome pyrotechnics display. a giant metal frame of a mask was in the middle of the road with pyrotechnics attached to it. it spurted out sparks and stuff. then, fireworks flew down from the blacony of tangs into the mask. it was really cool to see one streak of sparks, like a comet, strike the mask. all this was happening in front of the Chingay entrance, which had really long lines of firecrackers exploding like mad. i was so bloody near the entrance and almost went deaf. seriously. it was the loudest damn thing i ever heard. Werd boys, you think jamming is loud? well, it was like jamming times 200. i'm not kidding. if you didn't cover your ears, your ear drums would rupture or something. when i removed my fingers from my ears for a while, i could feel them vibrating madly. i was so scared to lose my hearing i stuck my fingers back in immediately. so, the firecrackers kick started the parade and oohhhhh boy. what a parade it was.

well, there were many nice performance but i'm going to highlight those that i actually watched. as a motivator, you're supposed to face the audience and not gawk at performers. and the performers were really cool by the way. i was very close to them so you could like smile at them and they would smile back.

i want to go to RJC. okay, wait. let me rephrase that. i want to see the people in RJC and dream of going there. did you see the rafflesians' performance? two words: my goodness. first of all, the neighbours were so unbelievably neighbourish, as in over 11 neighbourish, that they do not deserve the lowly term of neighbour. they are true blue hotmamajamas or HMJs. all my pre-conceived notions of RJC being a geek school were broken, put into an atomic smasher and burned over and over again in the sun. alright, i'll be subtle about this. first of all, the moves were full of gyrating and arching and everything that would cause a dude to shudder in disbelief. second of all, the costumes were not very modest and a certain piece of it was like a bloody second skin for the dancers. it was the kind of stuff that makes the loins go boings. to be right in front of them was, whoaaaaa. for a dude, either an unconscious smile would creep across your face or your jaw would drop like a lead weight when you see such things. it was the former for me. and when one of them saw it and smiled back, WHOAAA. if the ACFC dudes were there, there would be one long and loud 'WOOOOOPPPPPP!' anyways, all good things had to come to an end and that's what happened.

there was another item by some chinese oraganisation and it was quite um, interesting. there was this hell theme and there were lots of people on the floor, doing Gollum impersonations in their Earth-embracing costumes. there were supposed to be possessed or something and many of the girls were swinging their long hair around when they did some move that was supposed to make them seem like they're in a trance. they were arching a lot too. hmm, it actually was quite a bit, ooh. anyway, they were about to end when suddenly one of them jumped at me and went, "RAAAAARRRRGH!" she totally caught me off-guard and i would've instinctly impaled her eyes with my pink Chingay noise-maker sticks if they were sharp. scared the shit out of me. i guess she was too into her character or something.

then, there was this one performance by some people representing ACCS some telecommunications thing. my goodness. the dancers were practically wearing the blue version of Elektra's costume. that one was another loins go boings item. OH, and THEN, there was the item by the singapore american school. WHOOAAA. i wonder how parents can let their children wear so little clothes and dance in orchard road. but then again, they're american. they would've danced naked if it wasn't for the law.

there were a lot of other cool items too. there was one really cool dragon dance thing, where they climbed up a tower and made the dragon ascend it. the dragon had lights all over it and a dude had to follow behind with a power generator in a cart to light up the dragon. there were also some dudes who had flaming torches in their hands. they were like fire-throwers rather fire-breathers. they had some sort of fuel in powder form, which they threw into their torches, causing a large orange fireball. it looks nice on TV but when you're actually there, you feel the heat. and it was really hot. the guy can be like across the street, about 20 metres away and cast the flame and you can feel the heat hit you like a wave. there were a lot of colourful performances as well. they all added up to a great parade overall. the floats were boring though. they were lorries in disguise.

after the parade there was the PAR-TAY. man, was it happening. for those people who didn't join in, too bad, missed out on a lot. it was like a street-rave party. i never thought i would be damcing to techno again but there weren't that many techno songs. took a while for every one to warm up and i rubbed shoulders with the hosts, literally, before the party started getting hot.

i was drifting with some motivators i don't know. drifting, drifting when *bump*, the hosts! they weren't that big. the dudes weren't that tall. kym ng was really friendly. one motivator asked for a picture and she gladly obliged with a genuine "ke yi!" in mandarin. she seemed happy to take a photo. that's good. i hate celebrities who put on airs. so we were there, me and some group of motivators i don't know, just clapping to the beat when some cameraman came and started filming. we were all behind the hosts screaming and yelling as they said something about us motivators in mandarin for the people at home. i don't know if i was in the shot. must watch the repeat telecast to know. then, suddenly photographers from the press appeared and we took pictures with the hosts. quite cool. the hosts were then ushered off as the party really got started. and what a party it was.

it was crazy. that's for sure. i was like dancing with random people. everyone was just so high that it didn't matter who you were dancing with. there was confetti and streamers everywhere. it covered the entire surface of the road. people were like grabbing it from the floor and throwing it into the air. motivators with water bottles swung them overhead, giving anyone nearby a shower. people were jumping, singing, having a real good time. i didn't know anyone in my group so i ended up wandering the stretch, looking for people to dance with. i stumbled upon some random motivators again and we kind of stuck together. it was easy to get lost and the size of the crowd was beginning to swell. we were dancing to rock, hip-hop and techno. good mix i must say. they played Linkin Park's 'Somewhere I Belong' and i haven't partied to a rock song for a long time so i just started jumping like a Duracell bunny. it was much more spacious than in a rock concert so i jumped as high as i could. definitely fun. then, the group i stuck with wanted to get drinks and ventured deeper into the crowd of people to find the water bottles in their goodie bags. i think some people took them and we were all despondent after that as we were really thirsty after all that singing and jumping and dancing. then, i looked down and saw an unopened 1.5 litre bottle of green tea that someone left on the floor. i picked it up and everyone was like, "yay!" and we drank and we merry.

it seems that i always have strange encounters with caucasians during big gigs or events. after when we were drinking the tea, some group of caucasian dudes came up to me and asked, "dude, can we have your shirt?" i don't know what happened, but suddenly i started talking to them in my american sports commentator accent. i shall call him Bob. so Bob was speaking through me and it was quite freaky. the dude who asked me for my shirt actually understood me. i told them that it was my only one and to go look for the chief motivators to see if they had extras. anyways, the party ended and the motivators had a mini one back at the assembly area. we all sat down for the debrief when the dudes came back and asked for my shirt again. they asked me to get some for them and for their friends who were performers from the american school. oooh. *rubs hands* in the end he got his shirt and i was left amazed at Bob.

everyone dispersed when were dismissed. i didn't have anyone to do anything with and just started walking. walked to Borders and realised that i was walking in circles. i just flagged a cab home in the end. ah, what a day, what a day. oh and i went to the SAJC fun fair for a while too. Malcolm forced me to braid my hair there. it was alright. quite a few neighbours and a few HMJs. i bought an SAJC shirt too, it's the wannabe SAJCian in me that made me do it. closest thing to the school i would ever have, since i'll most probably never make it there.

Werd's first song is up! 'The Singer' is what it's called.

my god it's 5 am! shit! sleeeeep!

"it faded..."

finally, i'm taking my first step to be a Marat Safin wannabe. tennis with dennis today. sorry, just couldn't help make fun of his name. first lesson was rather slow-paced. but it's natural for it to be that way i guess. maybe i can join the tennis team or something if i get into a JC after my results which are DAYS AWAY. i'll join to make up the numbers.

oh die. days away.

school was shit today. had the chemistry test. the guy i was supposed to copy from was scared shit-less about being spotted, even though for a teacher to spot someone peeking in the auditorium was like looking for a needle in a haystack. i didn't get to see much but i managed to do 2 of the 3 questions. question 1 made no sense. everyone in the LT felt the same way i guess. especially since you could hear the united rustling of the paper as everyone flipped over the page to look at question 2, almost immediately upon getting the paper. but screw it anyway.

i was desperate to do some lame, stupid crap in maths lecture again. i ripped off pieces of paper and wrote "Boo... flick this around the LT" in them and rolled them into little balls. then i flicked them to another row and flicked some more. after a while you could see little white balls sailing overhead in the LT. the other day some dudes took a piece of foolscap and wrote "If you can read this, say 'aye'..." in them. then, they held it up for the people behind them to read. you could hear the LT going "aye. aye. aye. aye." i plan to fly a paper plane next math lecture. heck, if i'm going to enjoy my last days of non-seriousness in (s)RJC, i might as well do some lame-ass shit while i can. it's not something you do every day.

oh crap. i have to do some Chinese essay and there's a math test tomorrow. screw the math test, Chinese essay is my priority cause i don't want to piss off my nice Chinese teacher.

"Light makes shadows fall
Surrounded by each other..."

"Burn, St. Valentine
Burn, burn St. Valentine
Die, St. Valentine
Die, die St. Valentine
Bleed, St. Valentine
Bleed, bleed St. Valentine
Bye, St. Valentine
Bye, bye St. Valentine

Take Mr. Self-Pity along for the ride
And loosen this Rose-thorn vine from my side
Cause i just wanna
(I just wanna)
I just wanna ride

Maybe you could live again soon
But for now i just wanna ride and croon
Maybe you could come back soon
But for now you're as far as the moon

Burn, St. Valentine
Burn, burn St. Valentine
Die, St. Valentine
Die, die St. Valentine
Bleed, St. Valentine
Bleed, bleed St. Valentine
Bye, St. Valentine
Bye, bye St. Valentine.."

shit! 10 days to results. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die. oh die.

for some reason, i'm blogging in the wee hours of the morning again. Liverpool just lost to Birmingham, so i'm rather pissed now. and i've got nothing much to say so maybe it'll be another angsty, expletive-filled entry.

was at my mom's office for the entire day. helped her set up her office for a CNY party thing. people came and played mahjong, ate, socialised. some brought their kids and i had to help take care of them. but after a while, i got tired and the kids started to play among themselves, so i hid myself in my favourite corner in my mom's office and slept. i woke up at like 7pm and realised that my right eye was as red as the Liverpool jersey i was wearing [damn contacts]. i helped my mom do some spring cleaning in her office after that and had the leftover food from the party for dinner. oh god, i just realised that my day sucked big time. looking back, it was horrible. nothing done, nothing achieved, no fun. sadness.

shit, i have tests coming up next week which i will undoubtedly fail. chemistry and math, woo hoo. i have been producing carbon copies of my chemistry assignments since tutorial 1 and never really took the time to understand what i was copying. math is a joke. the lectures are a joke, the tutorials are a joke. so will be my results of the test. i think i'll study for chemistry, only because i want to prevent myself from being blacklisted as a bad chemistry student, since
(s)RJC's chemistry is one of the best in Singapore. screw math. screw school right now. i've been hearing so many people talking about going to a polytechnic because they can't stand the JC life. i think i might consider that too, but i don't know what to study in a poly. i don't think i have the self-discipline to drag myself to lectures and tutorials in poly too. sigh, choices, i hate them, but you have to make them.

i loathe what i'm feeling now. it's the i'm-in-a-whirlwind-someone-kill-me feeling again. i always get it whenever school's starting to get pointless and dull and when i've felt that a day's been wasted. like i've got no direction in life. but then again, i never had a compass. it's like the someone faded the colours in life. it's all dull. once again, f*ck it [woo hoo, return of the asterik].

i...i..i... have nothing else to say. okay, i'm actualli too disillusioned with sleep deprivation to continue without unleashing Herbert into the fray.

"...standing here with no one else but my shadow dancing around me.."

well. it's a little over 1.30 in the morning and i'm feeling like i'm an English tourist suffering from jet lag cause it's 5.30 pm 'back home'. i'm missing my scones and Earl Grey. missing Twickets my Scottish Terrier who should be running about the garden with Trovey my Siamese cat. if i were at 'home' right now, i'd be sitting in my divan, parked on the veranda, SIPPING my Earl Grey, NIBBLING my scones and WATCHING my dog and cat play, in between quick headline glances of the Daily Tribune.

if only i were and Englishman.

anyway, besides that totally obscene random burst of lameness and stupidity, i had quite an alright day.

i was slumped in the chair in LT5, listening to the damn chemistry lecturer about Mass Spectrometry[or whatever it is], when my phone vibrated in my pocket. i welcomed the break and read the message from Lan. he invited me to his house to "pai [or is it bai] nian". he told me to go to his crib at 1.30 but i told him i had school till 2.30. his reply was enlightening. he just told me to skip and i thought, "why the hell not?" so i sat in for one last period which was chemistry tutorial, something no one dared to skip, and walked out when the bell rang at 1pm. i went to PP and waited under Lan's block with Dom, Kenneth and Elina. then Colin came, and Lan finally appeared with his beau. we all went up to his place and slacked there. we played blackjack and i lost like $2, the most out of the rest of the players. gambling's just not my thing.

we screwed the blackjack. i welcomed that notion the most. we went down to the court and played against some saints. we played like shit and i'm not going to talk about it. bottom line is we played like shit.

okay, know what? i'm going to fuck using the damn asteriks to censor my fucking entries.

okay, i just considered the fact that parents might be reading them and they make me sound crude. so i'll use the asteriks when i feel like it. except for this entry. it's the grumpy Englishman missing his scones and Earl Grey in me that's doing this, i swear.

so...yeah we played like shit. then went for Ash-Wednesday-which-happens-to-be-on-a-Friday mass. ate dinner with a few of the league people. then i let myself fall victim to time's engulfing embrace till it was time to go home.

crap, i really can't sleep and i have to wake up early tomorrow to help my mom with her office's CNY bonanza. it's basically helping her run the gambling den she's making her office into. ah fuck it. i'd rather stay up and finish some material for Werd. oh and a shout out to Vic : dude, we NEED you. so quit your fucking job already and jam with us dammit! *random whistling*

oh my goodness, my blog is becoming a dumping ground for my lame-ness-ness-ity-lism-ism. fuck it anyway.

crap, i don't know why i'm swearing so much. it's the crude Englishman's fault. let's call him Herbert. right, it's HERBERT's fault.

okay i'm going too far. i'll just stop myself here.

"Faded, like a dream
It faded, like a dream
And maybe, it's just a dream
Faded..."

the first day of Chinese New Year is gone. it was quite alright really.

went to church in the morning. well, i missed most of it so i don't think it counts. my stomach lurched and pulled and gargled halfway through mass. when nature calls, you answer. i was thinking of holding it in till we reached home but i couldn't hold out and right after the general intercessions i charged into the toilet. there is one cubicle in IHM that has big windows a little above ground level that expose the occupant. i had to be the idiot to rush into that one. half the time in there, i was looking out for people and ducking everytime someone walked by. i have to say that i believe in Einstein's Theory of Relativity. it seemed like 5 minutes to me in the cubicle but by the time i came out, i had already missed communion. i guess toilet cubicles and space craft are somewhat similar.

after mass we went to my grandmother's place. it was boring cause we were the only ones there. i ended up dozing off and had to be woken up as we left for my aunt's place. the food there was excellent. just excellent. then i played some xbox with my brother and Kev my Arabian-British cousin. we decided to catch Constantine after that which we did and i will rave about it now.

Much unlike Elektra, which i think is a sh*t show, Constantine is a smarter, wittier film. once again, i'm no movie buff but i write what i perceive. so, sue me. it's much more in touch with this world than Elektra. i've never read the Constantine comics but Keanu Reeves makes him so cool. i heard that Constantine's actually a blond Englishman but Keanu Reeves brings an air of Neo's invincibility to Constantine. apparently, Earth is the poker table of God and Satan. long ago, they placed a wager to see who Man worships more. it's like a subtle war between Heaven and Hell. whoever Man favours more is the winner. they can only influence and not make contact. those are the 'rules' of the game. the coolness of the whole concept is that angels and demons walk among us. Constantine calls them 'half-breeds' or those who are demons or angels but look like humans. they are the ones influencing our lives. their interaction is minimal but it's like the butterfly effect, affecting your entire life. Constantine is a man born with the ability to see these half-breeds. he had an accident when he was 15 and was dead for 2 minutes. within those 2 minutes he had been to hell and back. since he was destined to be in hell, he decided to atone for his sins by killing demons who break the rules by making contact with humans, therefore placing himself in God's good books to buy his way into heaven. the concept of heaven and hell is really interesting and the most logical, to me at least, as well. they are just parallel dimensions of Earth. way cooler than the above and below concept. Constantine has this really cool aresenal as well. he has these glass baubles of holy water from the River Jordan, a shaft that contains 'Dragon Breath' [a stick-like flamethrower, cool sh*t] and a matchbox of bugs that make a noise demons hate. the coolest of weapons of course, is his big-ass crucifix-shaped gun which is a muli-barreled automatic shotgun. even the cross-hairs are crucifixes. the bullets are propelled by the dragon breath stick and it apparently brings a lot of pain to the demons. Keanu Reeves really does well in making Constantine a real bad-ass mo' fo' who only cares about himself and doesn't give a shit about anything else. he sure as hell smokes and drinks a lot.

the show moves at just the right pace and it's two hours of film are filled with enough engaging scenes to keep your eyes glued to the screen. although it's a dark gothic film, it still has a few humorous sarcastic quips and the ocassional showing of the finger by Constantine [including one he showed to Satan as he almost went into Heaven]. the acting is good and you really feel the messed up feeling the characters have as the show progresses. all in all, it's a good show and you should catch it.

i think i'm going to sleep now. okay, i AM going to sleep now.

"take the music away.."

yesterday was an 'okay Monday'. bascially it's a great Monday, but since Mondays are supposed to suck, i've reduced the superlatives to 'okay'.

school passed by really quickly, unlike the eternal stuck-in-a-time-warp feeling i usually feel. PE was fun. we didn't have our usual PE teacher so we had this other teacher who was teaching us how to play Frisbee. he made it his main point that the importance of learning how to play Frisbee was for the chicks. he asked us, "Gentlemen, do you know why it is so important to learn how to play Frisbee?" someone blurted out "hand-eye coordination" and the teacher went, "Bah. who needs that? gentlemen, this [holds up Frisbee] is a babe-magnet." then he went on about how every female at the beach would notice you if you were playing with a Frisbee and made another few satirical points about why the Frisbee was good. i guess all he was trying to do was to make the Frisbee sound like the ultimate sport and not the mundane disc, which was inspired by a pie tin, that you toss around. something else amusing happened in the Biology lecture. we were being taught about steroids and sterols and the lecturer gave us testosterone as an example of a steroid. then he asked us, "can anyone tell me where is testosterone produced?" the entire LT responded in the kind of unison that would shame any choir, "BALLSSSSsss" you could hear the "ssss" resound as if you were in the Grand Canyon.

i headed to Cine to meet up with Seth, Liz, who suddenly came back from China and Jas after school. we ended up watching Elektra which is a horrible movie.

with all due respect to die-hard Elektra fans, i'm sure she's a great character and super heroine in her own right but the movie sucked. it's the kind that makes you feel that you were cheated of your $8.50 [thank goodness i watched it on a Monday and only paid $6.50]. i'm no movie expert but it doesn't take one to know that it's a fluke.

first of all, i think the movie was too short. they tried to squeeze in everything about Elektra's story into a 1 and a 1/2 hour flick. as a result, it all just flashes by you and you don't understand anything at all. lots of sad points in the movie. not sad as in it makes you cry, well actually it does but not because the story is sad. well actually the story is sad but not sad as in sad movie sad but argh! you know wad i mean. i think it's quite ridiculous to fight in a bright red corset and shoes with heels as tall as mountains. but hey, comic book character, that's what they're good for. but kudos to Jennifer Garner for working so hard to get into shape for the movie. she was doing one handed pull ups for real in one part. it doesn't take a genius to know that she has one hot mamajama bod. what was dumb was how she ended up kissing the father of Abby [don't know what's his name] after a combined total of 5 sentences worth of conversation. real bullsh*t. another sad thing was the lack of creativity of the names of the villains. i guess it's the fault of Marvel this time. it's like, the big guy who swipes off the shot gun pellets blasted at him is called 'Stone'. ooohhh.. then, the lady who is literally a walking disease is called 'Typhoid'. aaahhh... and the guy with lots of tattoos is called...'TATTOO' wowwww! what makes them sadder is the way they die. after seeing them with all their fantastic powers you'd expect epic battles that would add many climaxes to the show. but no. they die in the most dumb ways.

Stone dies after a tree falls down on him. Elektra uses Kimura or whatever [the ability to see the future and raise the dead], to pin-point Typhoid in the hedge maze. then she throws her funny knife thing, that one of the Ninja Turtles use, through the many maze walls and wham! hits Typhoid in the face. and let's not forget Tattoo. he was just sitting in the garden in some weird yoga position with his snakes slithering all over him. then, Elektra once again uses Kimura to find him. she walks up to him cause he's in a trance and breaks his neck. and the sh*ttiest thing is that when they die, they all explode into a green puff of smoke. like what the hell? is that necessary? even the big baddie who wields 2 giant katanas and has the ability of the Flash as well dies in a dumb way. he and Elektra clash in the garden and Elektra takes a couple of hits, you know, to make her seem human [and is supposed to make you feel for her too by the way]. then, he says some lame-ass line and charges at her for the finishing move but oh, what's this? Elektra sticks her Ninja Turtle knife thingie in his chess and tosses him into the well in the middle of the garden, where he, you guessed it, explodes into a green puff of smoke. did i mention that the movie is also somewhat a rip-off of Star Wars. the way Stick, the sensei, preaches about 'the way' is just like how the great Master Yoda teaches the young Jedi about staying on the Light Side of the Force.

anyway, so we finished the bad movie and walked to Taka where we visited dom in Best Denki. he was at the discman and mp3 players section, with his burned CD blasting in the background. Liz considered buying an mp3 player but after seeing the 'made in china' words imprinted on the back, she quickly declined. dom looked weird in his Best Denki jacket which makes the employees look like Japanese sushi chefs.

Chinese New Year celebrations in (s)RJC were okay. it was Ben's debut performance for MCS. it was almost as if he was born for dikir barat. it was quite funny and the lead guy was making some funny quips about the lunar new year and they had the dikir barat equivalent of a punch-line drum beat that played everytime he said something funny. he then, went on to declare Ben to the entire school as the only Chinese in MCS, to which Ben received a really loud round of applause and cheers. i swear i heard his CFC [Cedarian Fan Club] scream.

anyways, Chinese New Year is here. not really that excited about it. i don't know why. more anxious about the gig i guess. it's off to kelvin's place now.

"the singer had to take take take take take take take it away.."

so i skipped ELDS today. whoopee. school ended at one, so it wasn't so bad.

Ben's like DA MAN now in school. he practically knows all the JC1s or everyone for that matter. he's also a bonafide friend of the lamers. he's really enthu about MCS. but good for him. at least he likes it.

i'm stuck at home now and i'm really really bored.

oh, wait. Liverpool won Charlton this morning. woo hoo! something to rave about. they played like sh*t in the first half, crudely put. chances weren't taken, possesion was for naught. then, Charlton took the lead. it was Murphy, of all people. he swung in the pretty corner and Bartlett just headed it in, unmarked. Traore was like a leaping fish as he tried in vain to cover Bartlett when he realised he was free. in the second half however, it was all wham-bam. the attacked in droves. Baros was the workhorse. he was running as if he was playing the last match of his life. it was he who stole the ball and fed Morientes, who turned so sublimely and gave the ball a good whack with his left foot. some more clever play by Liverpool allowed Riise to score the winner. a good move up the table. now all we need is for Everton to lose. go saints, go. you've beaten one Merseyside club, why not make it two.

okay, i'm bored again. maybe i should do my tutorials. on second thought, i don't think so. my goodness i end school at 5 tomorrow. PE all the way. thankfully i'm on 'medical leave' for the week, so more timer duty for me i guess.

i think i'll go peel carrots or something.

"seeing all i see.. we still kill, still kill the old way!"

back early today. skipped my Math tutorial and went home straight away. i just wanted to get out of school badly. the Math tutor's so f*cked up that he doesn't even know i exist in his class. i was walking out of school went i walked past him, it's not like he didn't see me, he just didn't recognise me.

i hate the way school ends so quickly now. it's like you go home, you sleep and it's back to school. it's never ending. there's no social life. maybe i should've joined Haziq and quit school. he probably foresaw this. i mean, look at the damn time! it's like 4 now! the whole day's wasted! whoever said that the first three months in JC would be fun ought to be killed. maybe that person meant to say the first WEEK.

maybe i'd call kelvin and dom to go to Boon at about 6 or something. we need to get Werd's songs up and running. we need Vic badly too. this week's impossible for the entire line-up to meet up. work and school are always getting in the way. it's just so stupid.

okay, The Used's album is quite nice. it grows on you. it grew on me. so it will on you.

aarrggh! hate this feeling.

"but we SING..."