this was what the Head of Department of Mathematics in my school wrote on the front page of my Maths-C paper:

"Dear Jonathan,

Obviously you have not studied. Don't waste your time here. Quit school and join the army."

well, that just sums it up doesn't it? i'm not complaining, i know i deserved the marks but maybe i could've done without the kind words of encouragement. and today, i got the last of my A-Level subject papers. triple-kill, hat-trick, treble, turkey, 180 or whatever sports or other term used to describe achieving [if you can call this an achievement] something three times; i got the killer combo of FFF for my 3 A-Level subjects, all of which i fully deserved.

it's of no surprise to me really, since i wasted my entire holidays. i never knew i could be so apathetic. i just didn't bother [as how Lan would say it, but don't worry Lan, i'm not blaming you]. i can't explain it, but i just didn't give a - crudely but simply put - shit. not sure why, but i've got demons on my back but i'm somehow not refusing to deal with them or just simply not acknowledging them. i'm running and it's kind of the way it is now. studying didn't seem like an option at all. music, football, TV and currently, DOTA; all that i dangerously shoved into my head to escape. escape from what i do not know. or maybe i do know but it's just that i refuse to believe that IT is the reason. i just don't know how or what to feel anymore. apathy is quite addictive. neither love nor hate, but it still gets you through. hmm.

oh yes. CEO of NKF T.T Durai is having a little fun in court for his 'abuse' of the peoples' money. i don't need to say anything. oh well, maybe an "I SO BLOODY TOLD YOU SO!"

i told you it wouldn't hurt to remain skeptical and keep such possibilities in mind. but NOOOoOooOoOoOoOoo. i'm f*cking SLANDERING! someone arrest me for something that is the antithesis of freedom of speech, the brother of democracy! quick! quick! cuff me! then when something like THIS happens, you turn and give sheepish smiles and act as if nothing happened! well, fine by me. i don't need to say anything, the silence i get in return is ORGASMIC. i mean come on! didn't the dime a dozen charity shows, NKF donation cards, salary pledges, company sponsorship and all the other things that make them look like Chelsea even make you a tiny bit suspiscious? for all you know, this little "golden tap cum first class tickets" fiasco might just be the tip of the iceberg. you never know, mayhap, a full-on dastardly embezzling conspiracy might unfold. and who better to report the progress than the ones being sued, Singapore Press Holdings! though as a national publication, they must be impartial and objective in their reporting, they have enough license to be a tad bit biased and might have articles with stronger than normal opinions. be sure to witness the monsterfication of the NKF, even IF it's just a little tiff about golden taps and first class tickets. on thing's for sure, future NKF charity shows are going to have to have much more celebrities begging and those numbers at the top of the screen aren't going to be jumping from $234,586 to $465,758 in 2 seconds anymore.

hmm, a little immature i know, but i'm a Scorpio; so it's kind of written in the stars that i'm supposed to be vengeful. hee.

anyway, i guess it's time to snap out of apathy and actually do something. BayBeats coming up! up for it anyone? Copeland and Electrico on Sunday!

"Say you won't care
Say you won't care..."