I'm ready to go.

Happy Lunar New Year everyone.

I'm leaving on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again

I NEED NEED NEED TO BORROW A GOOD DIGITAL CAMERA. DECENT NUMBER OF MEGAPIXELS PLEASE.

PLEASE. ANY GENEROUS, ALTUISTIC, BENEFICIENT, CHARITABLE, BENEVOLENT, CONSIDERATE, EQUITABLE, HELPFUL, GREATHEARTED, HONOURABLE, MAGNANIMOUS, KINDHEARTED, MUNIFICENT, UNSELFISH, PHILANTHROPIC, UNSTINTING, WILLING, AND-ANYTHING-ELSE THAT-IS-GOOD PERSON WILLING TO PART WITH YOUR CAMERA FOR A MONTH, PLEASE CONTACT ME!

thank you

we had heighway on the wing
we had dreams and songs to sing
of the glory of the fields of anfield road

I was packing up paper for recycling the other day (my A-level study material) and stumbled upon my old notes. Back in school, where I had a great appreciation for aesthetically pleasing handwritten names on notes, but little artistic flair to create them for myself, I sought the help of my female classmates - which resulted in many interesting titles:
















Ah yes, the good old days of oppressive meritocracy, quelled only by the naivety of youth. In other words, "I miss school."

Anyway, YES! My flights have been booked, leaving on the 7th of February and coming back on the 8th of March. Will be missing my results but who cares! "F*CK THE GAHMEN AND THEIR NAZI BRAINWASHING!" to quote someone, who is not me.

Hopefully, the ISA won't come looking for me now after such an outburst, and hopefully they would take 2 weeks for their blogosphere scanning systems to detect my words of treason if they do, for I would be then seeking asylum under the cold, grey skies of my old colonial masters.

An e-mail to my mother:

Subject:

Jon's Ldn trip

oh boy. much has happened since my absence. and i don't feel like talking about any of it HAH.

so yes, now is the wait for conscription. in the words of the Soviet flak trooper from C&C Red Alert 2, "At least I have job."

ok till next time then.

we hope you enjoy your stay
it's good to have you with us
even if it's just for the day

that was subtle. farewell beautiful world. i will take on the life of a religious and studious monk. i already have no cable and i have no working computer at home and my internet will be cut off very soon. in short, i will be like a middle-aged coffee shop uncle in the sense that my only window to the outside world is the of newspaper. not that having the outside world cut off will guarantee excellence, but it is (apparently) a necessary sacrifice. this blog will be on indefinite hiatus, or at least until 22nd November. yes, very indefinite indeed.

i guess in this case, lyrics by Gerard Way would fit this occasion like a tight, rubber, protective, latex, formed from a glass mold, long, flexible, transparent, wet and slippery...... KITCHEN GLOVE used to wash the dishes. you perverts.

what's the worse that i can say
things are better off this way
so long and goodnight
so long and goodnight

=)

sorry, random. but don't you think it looks like a horse's head? i mean, look:

once again, i apologise.

waiting for the sirens

zomg.

i just played one of the greatest dota games of my life ever ah. colin can atest to that. 4v5, mid and top totally raxed and we still won. woo.

good friday indeed.

you could've been number one

woo. CJ X-Campus Road Relay today. kudos to Gerard, Kenny and Olive. 7th place is 7th heaven.

TODAY IS NICE NICE MONDAY. if you recall there was once an entry describing OK MONDAY. that Monday was OK. this one was NICE NICE.

had a NICE NICE lunch time movie date. WEEEEEEE. then had NICE NICE training *smiley face* no time for details now.

can't wait for this year to be over.

a heart felt policy
for continuity

people are actually reading this blog! wah.

i stumbled across this list of lightbulb jokes about all the JCs. so i decided to post selected ones here and edit it a bit (cause some of the punchlines lack kick hurhurhur).

shit so many people already posted it on their blogs but for the benefit of people like ben who use my blog as a link to his own blog, (cause typing out hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia whenever your history clears finally proved to suck really badly) i'll save you all the trouble of searching for the jokes and omitting the flat ones.

that was some heavy grammar going on in the above paragraph. probably wrong but i don't care.

OK.

Q: How many RJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: 4 whole faculties. One to design the lightbulb, one to test it out, one to submit a proposal and one to market it.


Q: How many HCI students does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: The entire school, to compete with RJC.


Q: How many NJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: They don't need lights to study.


Q: How many ACJC students does it take to change lightbulb?

A: None. They'll use all their money to employ YJC to do it for them.


Q: How many CJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: They would rather it be darker. (suggestive sexual connotation)


Q: How many SAJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. They believe in praying for it.


Q: How many NYJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: They are probably still using oil lamps.


Q: How many SRJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Huh, wat litebarb?


Q: How many TJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. They think they are already very bright.


and my personal favourite:

Q: How many VJC students does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: The whole school. One to screw it in and the rest to cheer and wave flags and banners to give him/her support.

can anyone with rockafella pictures of FA Q please send them to me? thanks to everyone who made that night awesome.

aiya i tired already.

you could be my unintended

Common Tests are over! they've become severely uncommon. hurhur.

orientation 2 next, and Rockefella 3! please do come for it as it's for charity. also, the standard of bands this year has improved. solid musicianship in abundance, and also there's going to be better gear, not like the shit we had for last year. hopefully the Mackie monitors will work fine.

the A-level results for CJ this year were the "best results in 10 years". so said the enthusiastic plasma tv monitors around the school. i felt nothing but the bone-breaking weight of Great Expectations, increasing the amount of activation energy needed to engage the cells necessary for glycolysis, link reaction, kreb's cycle and oxidative phosphorylation, so that my brain can properly deduce the planes and lines i need to travel on so that i can be successful this year. i used all my notes for that sentence. my point is, the expectations we're having now sucks, and it doesn't help that this batch of J2s are more hardworking than the previous one. one thing's for sure though, i don't want to lose out and i think i should stop doing stupid shit (stupid shit being a very general term for playing dota, slacking, procrastinating; you know, stupid shit) and maybe actually do something to help me get past the fucking As. and up to this line of this paragraph it's been all talk and no action so far.

so i think i should go off.

ben gimme your bass. and you amp. and your cables. and your pizza box. then i sell for you at cash converters.

everybody also go army. what the hell. when april comes i'll be damn lonely. =(

but not THAT lonely =)

yes they scream and they shout
for the boys in the band

yes i'm still alive. the only reason i'm blogging now is because my intrinsic (probably genetic) nature to procrastinate and distract myself has taken over. i have GP and Literature CTs tomorrow and lo and behold: i'm blogging. the blog looks like January and February never existed. well, they sort of didn't and that is testament to how fast time is passing by this year. feeling kind of stressed by having to manage my time well but i'm relishing the challenge on one hand and holding my crying face in advance in the other.

in other news, there are probably other things i should say/update but i just DON'T FEEL LIKE IT. so you can all just _______ off.

and how come google can be so rich as to buy over blogger? these are the signs of the entire world being run by corporations in the future. the planet will just be one giant conglomerate. even governments will be bought over; as if they already aren't but oh well. ignorance is bliss. *arpeggios in the background*

LAME.

ok back to the black dude who marries a younger woman of a severely contrasting skin tone with many issues about his image.










i should have just gone to poly la............................................................................

perhaps persistence
would deter a cold destiny
come rub your hands
and bring this to a boil

so dom's in army now.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOOB.

he called me today after the BFC by ED. told me that he's aching all over and shit. and that it's not exactly a fat camp, just a group of heavy smokers and people who didn't do their NAPFA. still, it's kind of sad to be away so yeah, dedicate this entry to dom. pray that you'll stay safe in the dire decadence of conscription.

hehehehehehehehehehehe.

come home soon boy.

"Liquor" is spelt that way and not dyslexically, "liqour". just so you know kids.

:*:*:*

you're just too good to be true
can't take my eyes off you
you'd feel like heaven to touch
i wanna hold you so much

FUCK! i didn't update for the whole of November so now my archives looks like i was abducted by aliens, experimented on and probed for 30 days.

just don't have much to say i guess. or maybe i have a lot to say just that i don't want to say it.

hur hur.

will update some other time i suppose. now that i'm free and all. oh i guess i can say something: i'm gonna get my license within the next 4 months. when that happens, watch out muhfuggas. pimping big time.

but i'm leaving now so yeah what the fuck this is like one of those "live from my life" kind of entries and i realise that i've lost whatever grammar skills i've had this past month need to brush up so i'm going to leave now bye.

this is the last time i'll abandon you
and this is the last time i'll forget you

more at BANG_BANG.

noobs drop keys from the seventh floor.

let me take you on a
that's all for the lyrics for ya

call it envy, jealousy, low self-esteem, whatever. i feel a mixture of awe, respect, jealousy when i see immensely creative people, doing what they do best, being able to express themselves effortlessly.

i need to start reading newspapers/books/journals/anything with text again. i think i should just start reading. and listen and explore and create.

mint me Jesus! mint me good.

THIS is a crest, ben. fucking pwnage. artist from school. hand-inked.

i just had to put that up. sorry sorry

sail the novas
burst. deep. bright. down.

so like, this dude, is from Merseyside right. so i decided to ask him:

"so Mr. Lee Goulding. do you associate yourself with the Red or blue half of merseyside?"

and like he replies right, like, almost instantaneously, like he says:

"neither.. i support spurs Not the biggest football fan Y u ask??"

so i'm like whoa! he replied! like wtf man! cool shit. so like, i replied right, like i said:

"no particular reason. always wanted to go to Merseyside. a liverpool fan myself. =) love what you've been doing on your videos by the way."

then he's like:

"cheers.. your crazy if you wana be here tho..If i had one wish it would be to escape this hole..And for spurs to play well for once..."

ya.

first of all ah. wtf. a Merseysider who supports neither Liverpool nor Everton. while some skinny chinese boy, halfway around the world, eight hours apart, supports a club in a city where i've never been before.

isn't football just magical.

MAGIC-COO!

no one's gonna take me alive

One day, 4 babies were born at K.K. Hospital: a German, a Jewish, a Filipino and a Singaporean.

However, someone mixed up the babies by mistake, and the nurses couldn't differentiate between them.However, the head sister had a bright idea.

She lined the babies up in front of her and exclaimed, "Heil Hitler!"

At hearing this, the German baby raised his arm in a salute, while the Jewish baby soiled his diapers. In the meantime, the Singaporean baby turned to the Filipino baby and said, "Clean that up!"

hurhur.

when the Zetas fill the skies
will our leaders tell us why

no disrespect whatsoever, but i ripped this off TalkingCock.com

'A British soldier, a Chinese soldier and a Malay soldier were running away from a group of Japanese soldiers and came to a deserted warehouse.

The British soldier saw some gunny sacks and thought that the they had no choice but to hide using the gunny sacks. So the three of them hid in the gunny sack and soon the Japs came into the warehouse.

The commander saw three suspicious looking sacks, went up to the first one with the Briton hiding in it and kicked it.

The quick thinking Briton cried, "Meow, meow!"

The Jap commander, thinking it was only a cat, went to the other with the Chinese inside, gave it a kick, and the Chinese cried, "Woof, woof!"

Again, the Jap commander was tricked and moved on to the third, gave it a kick, at which the Malay cried out, "Potato, potato!"

and to be FAIR,

"Ah Lian called Ah Beng over the telephone.

Lian: " Beng, I can't get my new jig saw puzzle fixed, mah-chiam all the edges cannot fix together, leh."

Beng: " Jig saw puzzle si mi picture, ha?" Lian: " The box show a big rooster, kanna like the one in talkingcock.com "

Beng: "Okay, lah, okay, lah. I come over to hepchu, lah."

Ah Beng arrives at Ah Lian's place, where she happily leads him to the kitchen table where the jigsaw puzzle is.

Ah Beng examines the puzzle and says, " Kan ni na, put back the corn flakes into the box, lah."

and ANOTHER ONE if you doubt my impartial-ness-ity-ism,

An American, A Briton and a Singaporean were allies in a war and, unfortunately, were cornered by the enemy. The only way to the safe zone was by dashing through 100m of no-man's-land, where the trio risked being gunned down by enemy snipers.

The Briton decided to give it a try first, and started dashing with all his might towards the 100m end mark. Upon reaching 90m, he was shot. As he fell, he shouted, "God save the Queen!" and fell dead.

The American decided to go next and blazed towards the safe zone. 80m...85m...90m...95m...BANG! He was shot as well. As he fell, he shouted, "For Liberty!" and fell dead.

The Singaporean was next and he ran faster than he ever did in his whole life. 80m... 85m... 90m... 95m... 96m... 97m.. 98m... 99m.... BANG! He was shot too, and as he fell, he shouted, "KAN NI NA BU CHAO CHEE BYE!!!!!"




cause it's always good to laugh at ourselves sometimes.

i won't stand in your way
let your hatred grow

on thursday, when we were playing soccer with the netball pole things, i wanted to give a long ball to bryan through the centre. i was at the other end, standing at my own pole. i punted it, then watched the ball gracefully embrace the netball pole at the other end. haha so fun.

Feb 2006 - July 2006

tell me that you'll open your eyes

careful Dom, you might actually get customers who already are at the advanced stage of breast cancer.

together we're invincible

first of all DANGEW ELSA LIM TZE JOO. DANGEW MANY MANY.

if not for you, "Very Brit" wouldn't have been possible. i swear ah, it was really WOO.

ok i don't know how to describe it but it just feels really good whenever i replay the events that happened this weekend. "Very Brit" was very cool. i got to meet cool people and take a few awesome pictures with them *ahem ahem*. fuck i sound like a girl.

"enough of your rooftop cliches
i still preferred you killing me
like you did in the old days with old ways"

SCHOOL IS STARTING. god i miss school.

anyway, to expand Elsa Lim Tze Joo's already exponentially increasing readership, you can see all the pictures of "Very Brit" here. Hip City, tight shit. Gerard Leow, Daniel asks you to go for "practice" cause they "need you to replace Desmond (the lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky many lucky for obvious reasons)".

and so that Ben doesn't get jealous and so that he won't scold me for not advertising for his blog, go HERE.

sorry, i can't seem to be able to process my thoughts into words, hence the short entry.

ohhhhhh the trepidation. dear intrepid trepidation, you know my very innards, very well indeed. please God, if it is your will.

far away
this ship is taking me
far away

You could be my Unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love
You could be the one who listens
To my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before

First there was the One who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you
You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken
Pieces of the life I had before
Before you

till i find you
whoever you might be

can't sleep. can't study.

i don't like to talk about studying.

went to sunset mass today and it was Father Louiseau's 80th birthday as well. a whole lot of priests turned up and it looked really cool that like a dozen or so men in tunics and cassocks, emblazoned with gold and intricate spiritual symbols, were all at one altar. it looked and felt holy. like looking at an assembly of Jedi knights, feeling the concentrated Force that emanates from them. hur hur so fun. actually, being a priest is quite an admirable job. i mean, you live on nothing but God's love and word alone. your dreams, ambitions, ever action, every motive has to be focused on Him and on serving Him. fuck man so hard.

fuck, i meant: "fuck man, (emphasis on the comma) so hard."

hard gay.

what the fuck is that anyway? a toned, lean homosexual? a great degree of homosexuality in an individual? kind of like a hardcore gay?

ok fuck, all this talk about gays and priests together in the same post is too wrong and inappropriate.

WORLD CUP. why England so lousy. they tyco tyco score one (cheebye nice) David Beckham goal and get through. they simply can't win the World Cup this time. You know who'll win? either Argentina or Spain. the former because of their dazzling skills and the latter because of their dazzling skills AND their fucking handsome fellas. it's like you win the lottery if you are born of Spanish parents. like you strike Toto when you find out you got Spanish blood. "Yay! i'm going to be fucking handsome when i grow up!"

i want to be Matthew Bellamy. i want his genius mind.

i need a babe.
i need a hot babe like this:

FUCKING DISCONTINUED?! WHY WHY WHY

my plug in baby
crucifies my enemies
when i'm tired of giving

i got nothing to post, so i'll just embarrass someone here.

SHER says:
-_-
SHER says:
hahahah you damn funny la
WHO NEEDS YOU WHEN I'VE GOT MUSIC, BITCH says:
-_-
SHER says:
eh how come your face so small
SHER says:
mine so big
SHER says:
-
SHER says:
-_-
SHER says:
ehh
SHER says:
-_-
SHER says:
EH HOW YOU DO SIAAAA
WHO NEEDS YOU WHEN I'VE GOT MUSIC, BITCH says:
HAHAHAHAH
WHO NEEDS YOU WHEN I'VE GOT MUSIC, BITCH says:
you know what is font?
SHER says:
OH OH OHHHHHHH
SHER says:
oh ya hor
SHER says:
omg
SHER says:
shit
SHER says:
i feeel so stupid
SHER says:
eh don't tell anyone i did this ok
SHER says:
hahaha pls. damn embarrassing

GO HERE.

cool off your burning lips

AND AGAIN!

SOME MORE!

ONE MORE TIME!

gay la. fuckingcheebyeknnbccblousyshitgosuckcockanddiefuckingwankpussyshitwhoneedsyouwheni'vegotmusicbitch

let her go

ugh.

study or die.

choose.

die.

I HAD A RANDOM EVIL THOUGHT TODAY. cause i was spraying a cockroach near my new hamsters yesterday, so my dad got pissed and scolded me for endangering the hamsters' health. so i was thinking about in today's biology lecture.

WHAT IF YOU TAKE TWO GIANT DELUXE CANS OF BAYGON EXTRA-CONCENTRATED-PEST KILLER AND WITH ONE IN EACH HAND, SPRAY AND HOLD AT THE HAMSTERS LIVING IN A CAGE UNTIL THE CANS ARE EMPTY AND/OR THE HAMSTERS ARE DEAD. OMG IT WOULD BE DAMN FUNNY WATCHING THEM SCURRYING AROUND LIKE MAD, SQUEAKING FRANTICALLY AND CLIMBING ALL OVER THE CAGE, LOOKING FOR A WAY OUT, DIVING UNDER THEIR WOOD SHAVINGS, TRYING TO ESCAPE, GNAWING AT THE CAGE TO MAKE A WAY OUT. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

of course that will never happen, unless any one of you out there would beg to differ. i think all the years of my exposure to violence - Stick Death, Kill Bill, Happy Tree Friends, rotten.com, every zombie show, every violent movie, just erupted in that random thought.

die.

B.Adams is a genius.

To really love a woman
Let her hold you - till you know how she needs to be touched
You've gotta breathe her - really taste her
Till you can feel her in your blood
And when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
You know you really love a woman

"Transfer of "FUCKING NOOB.wav" is complete.

WHO NEEDS YOU WHEN I'VE GOT MUSIC, BITCH says:
krazy k himself
WHO NEEDS YOU WHEN I'VE GOT MUSIC, BITCH says:
he sounds like you
SNARF says:
fuck why he soudn so gay
SNARF says:
EH WTF
SNARF says:
NO LA
WHO NEEDS YOU WHEN I'VE GOT MUSIC, BITCH says:
HAHAHA
SNARF says:
FUCK YOU
SNARF says:
and my rhyming skills better than him la
SNARF says:
wtf
SNARF says:
lyrically divine
SNARF says:
my rhymes so fine
SNARF says:
all you motherfuckers gonna give me a dime
SNARF says:
for everytime i blow ya mind
SNARF says:
HAHAHA OK FUCK
WHO NEEDS YOU WHEN I'VE GOT MUSIC, BITCH says:
some more
SNARF says:
IM DAMN NOOB"

look at this indon.



sorry ben. again.
GO TO WWW.INFORMASITEKNOLOGI.BLOGSPOT.COM

even if you cannot hear my voice
i'll be right beside you, dear

i have lazy fingers and a lazy conviction.

so many eventful things i want to blog about but it's all just a mess and flurry of thoughts in my head that will be painstaking to sort out, organise and type out in an emphatic fashion.

SO. here's a quick summarized version:

1. Sports carnival yesterday. woo. Brown Boy Arriola owned 100m relay sprints again. yawn. lost frisbee. yawn. BBA also jacked me really badly; H&L almost knew who i was. OMG. thanks to my quick thinking, it was absolved in the nick of time.

2. SHEER AND HAFIZ AND NAVIN and friends WON THE BRAZILIANZ. DAMMIT. THEY BEAT THEM. BRAZILIANZ. THEY BEAT THEM.

3. "brave the impulse now, child/cool off your burning lips it wouldn't do us any good/ if you turned from red to grey"

4. i'm finally playing DotA again.

5. i need to study.

6. i have a feeling i have a lot of things on for tomorrow but i can't remember what any of them are.

7. oh, right; FA CUP FINAL. to be held at my place?

8. i just realised i spelled "Brazilians" with a "Z". wtf.

hmm, so maybe i had a little less on my mind that i wanted to say. or not.

pardon patience
it's a painful game

ENGAGE! *the sound of clashing of meat, bone and blood with a thunderous aplomb*

rugby is such an emotional game.

24sadness! YOU THE SEX. you make the number 24 look too damn good. 14 YOU TACKLING GOD. 13, don't so emo. it all happened for a reason. your kicking is still THE BEST. 1, YOUR FATHER WAS THERE HOW COOL WAS THAT.

i need to get bigger tits/arms/upper body.

not without a fight
we won't

sometimes all we need is a cool breeze, right after afternoon showers in your hair. oh wait i don't have hair. um, still. sometimes all we is some skyline, some cloud-sifted sunshine. over there you'll find it.

sometimes when all is seemingly lost, when things are clearly vague. take a step back and exit the smoke screen. all we need is little breathing space. all we need is a little air.

sometimes, when our hopes are low and our fears are high, all we need is a little patience. keep your chin up. take the hits on the cheek and push on, push hard.

sometimes, when you least expect it, if you really listen, you'll hear it.

Will you never rest/fighting the battle/of who could care less/unearned unhappiness/that's alright I guess

sometimes, when we've done all we could to find ourselves out there, using all sorts of telescopes and microscopes and magnifying glasses. just look inside, and without fear nor worry nor anxiety, we'll find us there.

sometimes, we need is a little song.

sometimes, all we need is not much.














what the fuck am i saying.

a friend in need is a friend indeed
a friend with weed is better

i guess i should update.

maybe later.

let me in
let me in
peel back your skin

how to spot a pervert? it's evident in their MSN Messenger conversations:

*name changed to save the real person from a lifetime of embarrassment

"*Joe says:
look at her titties
Joe says:
whooo!
Joe says:
hello there little girl
Joe says:
can i touch your chests?
Joe says:
hahahaha

-scrolls down-

Joe says:
pink bra
Joe says:
so naughty
Joe says:
hahah
i am called super fantastic. i drink champange with salmon fish. says:
wtf
i am called super fantastic. i drink champange with salmon fish. says:
cb cheekopek sia you"

[apologies to Kung Fu Generation for ripping off your style of posts.]

Ich heisse Chicken Fan-tas-tic
Ich trinke Coke in de plastic
Ich heisse Chicken Fan-tas-tic!

in this past week, i've seen how pathetic men can be and how strong, amazing and respectable women can be. not that i thought otherwise about women. but that thought about some men was always lingering. if i ever turn out to be those kind of men, i think i'll isolate myself so that i won't hurt or let anyone down with my shortcomings.

i feel more at peace in this house. and it makes me feel like studying. i might just stay home more from now on.

i damn tired. GO AWAY!

can't you just open up
open up dammit
let me in, let me in
i want in now

after all these years in beloved Potong Pasir, i'm moving out.

i'll be moving back to my old place down the road, Avon Park. first of all, the good thing is that i'll be able to enjoy all the facilities like the pool and gym etc. the bad thing is, i'll miss the convenience and small-town feel of Potong Pasir.

i'll miss walking down to Maccas for a meal when i'm feeling hungry, or the chicken rice or the seafood shop for hor fun and fried rice. i'll miss the tau huay shop, chilling out in it's pre-new-generation Maccas furniture. i'll miss walking by it on Saturday mornings, grabbing a quick sandwich and cup of soy bean milk before heading to Serangoon North with Lan and Colin. i'll miss chilling out at Maccas with the Pasir Boys, or just about anyone. i'll miss the short distances i have to travel to tuition, to the MRT station, to Boon and to just about anywhere. i'll miss the freedom of staying late out to slack, knowing that home is just a tiny walk away. i'll miss the spontaneous bouts of football anywhere from 11pm to 3am at the court, or the walking to 7-11 at 2 am to buy instant noodles during half-time, when the boys are over. i'll miss this small town.

on the other hand, Avon Park was kind of like where i grew up. i had many memorable moments there. i'll be relishing the prospect of using the facilities though. however, it's location is a little out of place. most of the buses go to the other direction of Singapore and the Woodleigh MRT isn't set to be open till God knows when. if i have an errand to run, i'll have to cycle to Potong Pasir. i'll also have to cycle to tuition. cycle to the MRT station, cycle to the soccer court, cycle to the Maccas, cycle to the coffee shops. what the hell, i might as well start training for the Tour de France.

the good news though, if Lan and Colin want to swim, they won't have to go all the way to Dom's house anymore. my house would be like the centre of everyone's house so they would have NO CHOICE but to come to my place to watch football. they can swim and whatever before watching the match. and maybe, just maybe. things will be better with the change.

i always like to think that changes are mostly for the better. i hope likewise happens this time.

for you
for you
before you

actually, i'm lousy as a leader and i realise that even though giving up is the easiest way out, it will ultimately be the best way. i don't know why but it seems that every decision that i've made has made a turn for the worse. and i think it just boils down to my lack of ability. i realise also that i don't have much talent whatsoever compared to many, much more gifted people. and i also realise that i've been so insenstive to other people's feelings. i also know that i am not able to properly choose the right things and am not able to effectively take responsibilty for anything. essentially, i make a mess of things. although it's something i don't want to let go of, i sometimes just feel that holding on would only further open wounds due to a lack of emotional senstivity on my part. and i'm not trying to sound sarcastic here. this is an honest, sincere statement i'm making. though i feel that leaving and giving up would be the best, there's still something that's holding me back from doing it and i don't know if it's some sort or metaphysical force that's telling me not to do it or just my lack of ability to let go. but quite basically, for whatever i've done. i'm sorry. i'm truly truly sorry. if anyone's to blame it's me. so if grudges are to be beared against me then so be it. cause i deserve them. i thought i could do this - i really did. but it's starting to become obvious that i can't. and one thing i truly treasure is friendship. so if i have to give it up to preserve one then i will do it. but if that's not enough then i really don't know what to do.

i'm not asking for sympathy or pity. if anything, all i ask for is forgiveness and forgetness (fuck la i don't know how to re-phrase it). as in, a pure, willing desire to forgive and not just because of guilt. i am willing to change myself for the benefit of the four of us.

and to everyone, please don't bother to tag on this. it's pointless because even though you all might be sincerely be trying to encourage me, there's only so much you can say and that so much is unfortunately all a cliche; one that i've become very much indifferent to. but thanks anyway.

she doesn't know...

we really mean it when we say we're team mates. just look at this:

how cool. and by the way, i have new found respect and admiration for Alex Kapranos, Nicholas McCarthy, Bob Hardy and Paul Thomson. Enough said.

this fire is outta control
we're gonna burn this city
burn this city

oh and by the way, i think Fernando Torres is damn bloody fucking handsome.

i cannot stand it. he's just too bloody handsome. HANDSOME FELLA LA UNDERSTAND?

now i'm
sh-sh-shakin' sh-shakin' i'm
sh-sh-shakin' sh-shakin'

are some people really just born like that? why have you changed so much. or maybe you were like that all along, just that i failed to notice it. maybe as a friend i refused to acknowledge that side of you. it's just not the same and i can understand why there is so much fear. can you not see that sometimes, your sacrifices just isn't enough or isn't all that great as you thought they would be. maybe if you had a little more sensitivity and a little more respect for us, paid more attention. then maybe you'd realise that you cause a lot of fear. that you've become a taboo, a sensitive topic that everyone treads lightly on because they are afraid. we all care for you and we find ourselves hurt that you are unwilling to be open to others' opinions. a little flexibility - a SINCERE willingness to be open - would make it much easier for all and would erase any fear that anyone has. the fact that this fear is present is evidence that we all care for you. we do not want to hurt you or offend you but maybe you have to notice that we've been doing all we can. things have been sacrificed and although not everyone is happy, it seems that you've been the most unhappy one, the one who is hardest to satisfy. that is where the fear comes from, the fear of displeasing you. i can only do so much, but if it never seems enough, then it comes to a point where it becomes exasperating. maybe you're used to doing that, to make others bend to what you think is right. but you can only use the same trick so many times as some would say it. but don't you think that it's a bit manipulative and insensitive to others to keep doing that just to get your own way. "nobody likes a child, who complains and i won't be that child anymore." sing that for me would you please? and maybe you should be open to criticism as well. getting all emo when we're all trying to help you only defeats the purpose. stop erecting those walls. stop covering yourself in spikes. can you not see that you're piercing everyone? again, this is not an attack. it is the result of being pierced over and over and over. [wah so emo] the point is, you're hurting everyone. so please stop it. please. i still can remember good times we had last year, among others. i want more of those. i want to stop feeling this constant strangle-hold that is your hostility and your strong, maybe narrow mind. if you feel that this is too strong a description for you, think. have i ever said things like these before? have i ever been this frank? no. but why now? what is it that made me lash out like this? i hope that you'd look inward and see, what would have caused this.

in the end, i'll be the bad one. i'll be the one who causes it all to end. cause i'm a terrible person. so why did i still do this. cause i feel that enough is enough. at least one is willing to make a change. please be more open, please be more sensitive. your shell has made you hardened to constructive comments and opinions that may have more value and truth. it has made you lash out at others in the process.

whatever. i'm a horrible person.

i'm a terrible person
cause i've made up my mind

stupid internet. stupid lousy computer. stupid lousy computer with lousy internet.

i now have nothing constructive to say. OOGA OOGA!

but anyway, CHELSEA LOST. please excuse my lack of sportsmanship but as a Liverpool fan myself, i cannot help but submit to the impulsive mocking of the Blues. so here's a big mocking laugh at them, as a personal consolation after the emotional hurt they put me through.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

"i sink he was rather lucky." - when Rochemback scored.

"AAAYYYEEE!" - when Downing scored.

"SPFFFFFFFTT! WHAT! THE! FUCK!" -when Yakubu sealed the emphatic victory.

i bet you look good on the dancefloor
i bet you look good on the dancefloor
'and i know i can never win anymore'

who am i kidding.

i obviously can't get anything right.

encouragement is a cliché and it's difficult to find any that is sincere, not brought about by social decorum, said without pretence or without an ulterior motive and truly encouraging.

"i don't get many things right the first time
in fact, i am told that a lot"

that i am
i am
i am the luckiest

you know. we've been like having all these quarrels and arguments and it got me feeling rather upset.

then i realised that they are also good signs. the reason why we argue so strongly about it shows that we're passionate about it. we actually give a damn and it makes me happy.

also, it shows that we're willing to voice it out. willing to be open about it. so, yay again.

and you know, even when i keep asking myself why we're doing this if we keep arguing and fighting about it; when i ask myself what's the whole purpose of it, i just think back to the time(s) when we played the singer in front of people. the feeling we had, that vibe we shared when we were all moving around, playing, smiling, feeling it. and then i know, that's why we're doing it, and it's the reason why we'll probably keep us doing it.

i'm sorry and i just want us to rock. please?

it's gonna be a bad day come sunday

hmm.

i was just thinking. why are some people so afraid of being different?

Bonjour.

today, yours truly will provide you with what zé mother calls "Survival Skillzzzz". on zé verge of death of starvation, zis is huat you need to do.

[and to sound all French and sophisticated, i'm going to accent évêry vôwël änd pùt yôü thrôügh língúístíç héll. why? cäúsë wïth my kéyböárd ít ïs ëásy.] (HTML sucks.)

FÍRST: gët yöúrsélf ä göód tëáçhër/ïnstrúçtör ín cásë yóü scréw üp. (get an instructor)

and hence, we feasted like the righteous kings of old.

OMG! RANDOM FISHBALL!






with MEAT inside! [Meat Is Murder]










only Gir understands.









light up
light up

my brother's sick. and when he's sick he gets hallucinations. my mom thinks it's kind of like possesion. that the devil goes into his mind and makes him see things.

and today, i was just doubting God's existence. i was annoyed that my mom was so interested in this book called "Heaven is So Real!". she was talking about it non-stop and it pissed me off. and i was in my atheist mode again. (what God? we're all accidents. omnipotent beings are fabrications of the human mind to placate our curosities about our purpose. that our feeble existence does not have any meaning and we use/create God as an excuse.)

but then, my mom decided to feed my brother some holy water and almost instantly, he was conscious awake from his trance. so. whoa.

ya. random thought bye.

glowing embers fly across the sky

MR KRISHNA VIJAYANTHEIRAN, THE CABBIE WHO DROVE ME TO CHURCH TODAY, IF YOU FOUND MY PHONE IN THE BACK SEAT, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE RETURN IT TO ME THANK YOU.

what a subtle way to announce my loss don't you think.

but somehow i find comfort in being phoneless. i don't really feel scared or whatever. hmm. aiya, save money also. (and i can go out late and my mom can't call me to kao bei MUAHAHAHAHA!)

funny how i remember a name like that and not the four letters and four numbers that make up the license number of the cab.

should i laugh?
should i cry?
oh yeah i forgot
i don't give a fuck anymore

SO.

let's play charades! or is it pictionary.

THREE WORDS!

+

+

(by the way, this just looks hot.)

= ?

aiyo, so difficult. i also don't know what it means. but while searching for these pictures, i also found the "super-duper hard mode" of this particular pictionary puzzle:

+

+

=?

hur hur! now kids, when you go searching for pictures on the internet, please be generally specific about your keywords. otherwise, you might end up with pictures with file names like "asr-drinks", "200412150937461c2e2.jpg" and get a fictional jet/star-fighter that resembles the Eurofighter, has 2 wing-mounted pulse lasers and 4 AIM-22-like missiles - except that they're not mounted on the wing tips which would be impossible since they're folded upwards - and three engines that might be sublight engines if this craft was meant for space travel. oh and for such a masculine machine, it has a sissy-fied name.

those who guess it right get a prize! REALLY.

oh no
she's not a secret now
but nobody cares

really. no mood to blog.

lazy la.

my DotA is gone, my Mechwarrior 4 Vengeance is gone, my WC3 ROC need CD key, my Starcraft need CD key, my Red Alert 2 need CD key.

thank god for the internet and it's "boundless possibilites and infinite resources".

what did i want to say again.

too tired to think.

to vic and dom:

sorry for being such a fucker and blowing the whole issue out of proportion and everything. let's just get this show on the road please?

okay okay, big yawn just happened. need sleep.

i've got a hunger
tying my stomach into knots

i don't feel like writing anything!

oh but but but this happened.

one day while mopping the floor...

Brother Snakes: taaaaaaaaake. take it awayyyyy.....

Me (thinking): what the hell?! how could he have known that song?

Me: what were you singing just now?

BS: i don't know. i can't remember where i heard it from. why?

Me: nothing.

*mop mop mop mop mop*

BS: i think i heard it from you. when you were singing in the toilet or something. am i right?

Me: no la! i haven't sung in the toilet for ages!

BS: what's with this song?

Me: nothing.

*mop mop mop mop mop*

BS: yes la. i definitely heard it from you. i just don't know which artist it is.

Me: =)

___________________________________________________________________

but anyway, school's been okay. hoping to see, if staying was meant to be. i musn't be dormant, i musn't be complacent. i cannot and must not pause, a lack of neighbours kind of helps the cause. why the hell am i rhyming these damn sentences?

so i think i should participate more in house activities.

ARA ARA ARA ARA ARA ARA ARA

wah damn bright.


TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE
TAKE IT AWAY!
TAKE IT AWAY!
TAKE THE MUSIC AWAY!

So this is the new year
And I don't feel any different
The clanking of crystal
Explosions off in the distance (in the distance)

So this is the new year
And I have no resolutions
For self-assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions
So everybody put your best suit or dress on
Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
As thirty dialogues bleed into one

I wish the world was flat like the old days
Then I could travel just by folding a map
No more airplanes, or speedtrains, or freeways
There'd be no distance that can hold us back

There'd be no distance that could hold us back
There'd be no distance that could hold us back

So this is the new year
So this is the new year
So this is the new year
So this is the new year

HAPPY NEW YEAR

DCFC is like a pillow for emotions.

when you feel embarrassed
i'll be your pride
if you need directions
then i'll be the guide
for all time
for all time

GO TO INFORMASITEKNOLOGI.BLOGSPOT.COM.

ALSO KNOWN AS KUNG FU GENERATION.

once again. it never fails me.

went to swee lee to view invisible guitars and the sun-bleached silhouettes of Les Pauls and Stratocastors hanging on the wall for a year. almost bought a DD-6 but didn't want to waste money on something i would not use cause i don't have a guitar or an amp to practice with.

ended up stealing some picks. Vic stole some too. cheap thrill - in both senses of the word 'cheap'.

wait for March then. when it's Spring in Japan so the weather's more humid, hence the wood used would be less dry so when it comes to Singaporean weather, it won't rot as quickly as guitars made from wood brought in during dry winter seasons.

i don't want to go back to school.

not like this.
not as a retainee.

this is the moment
that you know
that you told her
that you loved her but you don't
touch her skin
and then you know
that she is beautiful but she don't mean a thing to me
yeah she is beautiful she don't mean a thing to me

WHY.

why did i have to sell HENRY, only for him to score TWICE? why are Crouch and Gerrard scoring like free when i don't have them? WHY do i have so many West Ham players only for them to lose to WIGAN? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

and LAN has McBride in his team. and all those players who scored! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY

i can never win anything.

at least my pride and joy are marching onwards to the top. at least they make me feel like a winner in some sense.

I DON'T CARE RESTART THE LEAGUE. RESTART RESTART. CANNOT LET LAN TOP THE TABLE. NEXT SEASON START AGAIN. KNNBCCB.

jwlyh has killed Paddington for an extra +100 gold!
jwlyh is BEYOND GODLIKE (holy shit) SOMEBODY KILL HIM! (+400 gold)

Paddington: fuck la
Paddington: cb la rr
Paddington: gg already
Paddington: rr lan
Paddington: again

Paddington has left the game.

jwlyh: gg long time already
jwlyh: fuck lar
jwlyh: jonny busted
jwlyh: damn leavers
jwlyh: kao

i'd put you before me anytime
i'd put you before me all the time

you know what would kill ANY guy's ego?

first of all, this has got no offence to anyone whatsoever mentioned. it's just that i have to let this out of my system.

okay yes, ball-killing. what's one of the leading causes? chicks going with younger dudes. NO OFFENCE TO ANYONE. I'M NOT SAYING I HATE IT. I'M JUST SAYING THAT IT DECIMATES EGOS. JUST STATING SOMETHING. DON'T GO ON SUING OR FLAMING ME.

back to the subject at hand. YES. chicks going with younger dudes. when you see a 17 year old going with a 15 year old. it just sends a bad vibe to dudes everywhere. regardless of whether you know the girl or not. you just feel like the elders of the male species have suffered a monumental defeat. you just feel insulted, feel sick. maybe it's cause of eons of genetic programming or rather, societal brainwashing that makes us feel sick when we see it. but lookin at it in a biological sense, it's actually nothing wrong. as long as there is a fit female and male, nothing is wrong. maybe i should see everything like this in a biological sense now to make me feel less sick. then again, a fit female and male can also mean a mother and son. YUCK.

okay, random thought over.

"i wanted to believe in all the words
that i was speaking as we moved
together in the dark"

hmm.

haven't been feeling much lately. as in, no feeling at all.

but there's this focus, new direction.

enlist me in the army of rock n roll baby.

we have to fight the war. "so many musicians to kill"

my hides' been really hardened. cold cold cold. i like the cold. i just need to get through this. "kill me or release me demon, do not waste my time with talk."

OMG I'M BLOGGING LIKE DERN (the traitor) LA. RANDOM LINES AND PARAGRAPHS. SHIT SHIT SHIT.

if it's any consolation, MERRY CHRISTMAS.

"it's time to
RIDE! RIDE! RIDE!
NOW IT'S TIME TO!
RIDE! RIDE! RIDE!"

okay, i'm going to play this stupid 5 fact game but i'm not going to be evil enough to force other people to play. unlike SOME people.

1. i secretly like hip hop/RnB.

2. i'm get really afraid when i think about the future.

3. i get really afraid to know that i have no direction in life. [pretty much like 2 but i don't care this is another one!]
i'mreallyafraidthati'llturnoutlikemyfather.
4. i used to like Manchester United BECAUSE of Eric Cantona, but now, there's no one else but my beloved LIVERPOOL FOOTBALL CLUB.
peopledon'tknowitbutToNFILAisreallyaboutmyself-esteem.
5. i really really like singing in the shower but after a certain incident involving my neighbours, i've learned to curb that habit.

oh well, that's it. nothing else to say. and it's 2am. bye.

so goodbye to you and your life

i've gone blog things crazy.

You Are an Emo Rocker!

Expressive and deep, lyrics are really your thing. That doesn't mean you don't rock out... You just rock out with meaning. For you, rock is more about connecting than grandstanding.

so i was walking past the Arrival Hall in Terminal 1 to get to the Sky Train during my lunch break. there was this barricade extended from one of the arrival hall doors. it blocked the way to the sky train and i was already really hungry so i was like, "what the fuck?" please excuse me but i was really hungry and the stupid barricade didn't help things. lined along the barricade were people holding up banners and posters. oh, cool. some celebrity had arrived! i didn't care i still wanted my lunch. as i was looking for a way to bypass the barricade and it's horde of crazy chicks, they all started screaming. at the same time, my stomach was grumbling and i realised that i had to walk a gianormous round to make it to the sky train so it really warranted a, "WHAT THE FUCK?" voila, 5566 had arrived. LIKE OMG! 5566 THE GREATEST BAND OF ALL TIME. LEGENDS. GODS. OMNIPOTENT SAVIOURS OF THE REALM OF MUSIC. honestly, they were GAY. they all wore the same bloody shirts. blue with the gold chinese words, "ming xing". what? "name star"? huh? "I DON'T CARE I WANT MY LUNCH." i was rather pissed and some crazy-ass fans almost banged into me as they chased after their idols to try and get a couple of more pictures of them. after their 20 second parade to the bus finshed, i walked to the barricade and parted it like the red sea. all the other pissed and hungry people soon followed suit.

oh and did i mention that today i've gone blog things crazy?

Your Birth Month is November

Tolerant and inspirational, you are wise beyond your years. You are universally sympathetic and a great humanitarian. Your soul reflects: Compassion, friendship, and secret love Your gemstone: Citrine Your flower: Chrysanthemum Your colors: Dark blue, red, and yellow

RED SIAL. no wonder i love LFC so much. it's FATED. and they're playing in the FIFA CWC today. come on Reds, crush the Costa Ricans. Take over the world. (please?)

"These polls they're so intriguing
Wonder who'll finally win
Don't you wish i were here"

i found this on the Hingsby's Makeshift Blues site:

As soon as it dawned upon him
To himself, he spat out the words of sin
Then highly embarrassed, he put them back in

So he puts his hands over his mouth
And carefully stiched them together
One by one, two times over

Then he made a silent promise to the world
"I'll be taking this to my grave"
"Don't regret it, it's you i'll save"

Then he closed his eyes and swallowed hard
And his Valentino's trademark started to contort
With the captain screaming, "Abort! Abort!"

Over his hands he drew a wide Cheshire grin
On top of his head: a great artificial sun
And paraded around saying, "The deed is done!"

Right at the start when he last looked at their eyes
Never had a sword been so deadly focused
And never had a cup been so radiant

One last time he stares at those scintillating eyes
And once again his Valentino's trademark
Began to awake, maybe began to start

Because he wanted much more from the little he was granted
And it woes him more that he's further than before
Leaving his Valentino's trademark less rusty, more sore

What a fool he was to burn again and turn against his oath
He should've been reactive and stayed behind the wall
But he built a bridge and into the eyes he began to fall

Cut down, cut down, so severely, so predictably
He made the greatest diplomat proud
He hid it well, used a powerful shroud

It was christened as the greatest great tragedy
And it strenghthens as it is weakened
The desire more and greatly brightened

But it just can't be
Just too impossible
And it will remain as the one that'll never be

Goodbye goodbye
This tale bids a goodbye
Always too far to go more than a "Hi"

my paranoid mom took the wireless modem away. she thinks my brother and i are using the computer too much. like what the FUCK! i get home in the evening, by the time i've settled down it's like 9pm. watch a little telly, slack a little, then it's the "on" switch on my computer at 11. i use to like 12 and she starts nagging. first of all. IT'S THE FUCKING HOLIDAYS. is it written in some clan law, signed by my ancestors thousands of years ago that i CANNOT use the computer to DotA or surf into the night? i mean, if i can't do that during the holidays then WHEN? it's so frustrating because i NEVER get to use it. my brother would be the one who parks his ass at the computer the whole day, playing retarded TFT games like PASS THE BOMB or MOO MOO TOWN, POKEMON, ANIME and many many many many other sad sad sad sad sad maps. you should see my download folder under "maps". it's disturbing. i admit pass the bomb looks quite fun, but for goodness' sake play DotA dammit! at least i won't be as mad if you're playing DotA. at least become a bit more pro so you can own people. WHO'S SO PROUD ABOUT OWNING IN HERO SIEGE? own WHO? the computer?! the DARKNESS WAVE THAT APPROACHES FROM THE NORTH/SOUTH/EAST/WEST? and he'll play till night. then when i come home, it's ME who looks like the gay nerd who MUST use the computer every night. i don't even use it EVERY NIGHT. but whenever i do use it, suddenly i've been the one hogging it since the beginning of time. seriously, it's utterly exasperating. and now, i have to freeload off the internet at work to blog and check my mail and stuff.

seriously, my mom thinks people who use the computer after 12 are CRAZY, LUNATICS, RETARDS, ABSURD, WRONG, GOOD FOR NOTHING, INSANE, IRRATIONAL and any other derogatory term you can put here. if that's the case, she should put 14896210512342345 into IMH right now because it's so commonplace. i swear. AIWEUFPAIWFAJSDBGPAIWBF[ASDGU[AWERUBGFADSJGBA[WEUGFB]-[02893Y9P3W5TP[9Naxw{)gVTQ35BHHJUB
+9/VGBYQU-R9ENGV-[93804YHFVNC0[X=GYQA=43208V CNZxaqGVQ34CGY0O5I83QY092

i just broke off the escape button. SHIT. okay got it back.

so anyway, work's been pretty good. rather mundane but hey, at least it's better than having no job at all. my co-workers are such slackers. just because the head of the department is on leave for a couple of days they leave at 5.30 on the dot. so i'm here, checking my mail, managing my fantasy league, blogging, checking out friendster, listening to my mp3, wikipedia-ing, (clocking in free hours). it's so good like this.

did i mention i played FREE LAN yesterday at this newly opened LAN shop? it was after the match against NYJC (oh yeah, more about that), and some of the soccer boys decided to DotA, so we headed to this place in Serangoon and just as we stepped out of the cab, some guy comes up saying, "hey guys, are you here to play LAN? cause we just opened and gaming is free until the 7th." please, if you hear this what will you reaction be? so we DotA-ed till 9.30 cause they didn't want use to freeload for so long. it was obvious who had the most number of kills =). (ash was tyco though, digusting zeus and his wrath of god)

CJC soccer was entered into some tournament consisting of two secondary schools, Ping-Yi and Saint Andrews, and two JCs, NYJC and CJC. it was held at NYJC with it's shitty field. honestly, the field is shitty, like it was flown in from the grasslands of the Savannah. anyway, our first match was against SAS which we won 5-4, it was such an exciting game with heart-stopping moments. we went ahead first, then they equalised, then we lead 2-1. then, they came back from behind again. next they scored another two to make it 4-2. then Aaron headed from a corner to make it 4-3, providing a glimmer of hope. TERRENCE WAH equalised with a well-placed shot. and in the dying minutes, Captain Kenny won it for us 5-4. my god, was it a scary game to watch.

the next match was against Ping Yi secondary. a school from the east. the east side schools always had the reputation of being powerhouses in football. Ping Yi stayed true to that reputation. we drew with them 3-3, though we really should've won it as they could not match our physical presence. (with Gomes, who can?) our last match was against NYJC, who won SAS and lost to Ping Yi. i think it was our best match. we had a lot of missing starting players, Hafiz was late, Sheer had to settle some retention matters, Ash was rushing down from Hong Kong, Thad was missing, Manoj was injured. basically, we looked like Liverpool last season. suprisingly, we went ahead first. CORNERLIUS scored with a looping header from a corner. the lad deserved it. he hadn't been playing for a LOT of matches and when he finally came on, he scored. the odds really seemed against us cause Ben Chan was sent off after two yellow cards and we had to hold on to the lead with 10 men. but then, Hafiz came on and pulled strings in the center of midfield. Ash came strutting along and made life hell for the defenders with his stupid i'm-faster-than-a-cheetah-and-your-mom sprinting. Mr Ho became somewhat of a psychic. he predicted how Aaron was going to score and it happened word for word. he said to Aaron, "the goal is going to come for you. it's going to be a shot. you're going to take one touch then shoot." and it happened. maybe it's some form of mind game he played but whatever it was, it worked. we were leading 2-0 with ten men. our new keeper, Jeremy, who i swear is damn bloody good, had an assist after his goal kick was chased down by Ash, who controlled it with a deft header and volleyed past the keeper. 3-0 with ten men. all in all, we played as a team and i think if i can stay on in the team after next year's re-selection, i would really like to do my best. IF i can stay on. it's looking rather bleak though. anyway, Ping Yi won SAS (poor sobs, they didn't win a single game), and they're tied with us in the top position, points for points, goal difference for goal difference. i guess we win on alphabetical order. =)

hmm, ACFC is having soccer at SN now. feel like playing but it's so far. it's now 7pm and by the time i reach there they'll be done. and if i go home now i'll have nothing to do. this sucks. WHAT HOLIDAYS.

oh yeah, league camp. first of all, i think Grace and Sara did an extremely good job to plan the whole camp. i think it's the first time in history that sec 3s planned camp. like wow. i felt that camp was alright. some what better than last year's. and i finally got to spend time with the league people. maybe i should go to mass with them more often.

ELTJ YOU BETRAYER. TOTALLY BUSTED. but then again it was expected =).

sorry for the whole randomness of this entry. haven't updated in a long time and i just feel fucked.

"And i'm too afraid to hold you;
If only to let you go away"

first of all, what the hell was i thinking? of COURSE it wasn't meant for me. i'm such a self-centered narcisscistic bitch. i should go knock my head on a wall. i deserve all of this. i most certainly do. all of it.

BURN YOUR BOOKS

if there ever was something that could demoralise you into a sissy bitch, that gig was it.

AUGUST STAR

hail to the quartet who can get a gig and many original numbers, even though they were formed this year in July. great riffs and melodies, too bad they didn't have any real words to their songs. no wonder the songs sounded quite slip-shod. the vocalist was making them up as they went along. but still. HAIL.

SET FOR GLORY

hail to the band with an average age of 17. hail to the band who came out with an EP 3 months after they got together. hail to the band with an American fanbase. HAIL. Nico was great on vocals. cool bass spinning by Farris. Titus had titanic skill on the drums. too bad Sameer's string snapped. HAIL.

WEST GRAND BOULEVARD

what can i say. tight as glue, pitch perfect, stage presence, skill, talent, ingenuity, greatness. HAIL.

well, it didn't hurt to dream. we woke up with the light of 5 suns in our eyes.

hail to you.

[pics courteousy of ELTJ aka Elsa]

mama always said
there were only two kinds of men
men who can fly and men who pretend
i told her, "mama i wanna be a flying man."
"that you may be, but for now, pretend"
pretend, pretend, little one
pretend, pretend

if that was meant for me: me too. i know. but you know me. always too afraid to step forward first.

but maybe,
"The rhythm of my footsteps
Crossing flood lands to your door
Have been silenced forever more
The distance is quite simply much too far for me to row
It seems farther than ever before
Oh no"

of course, i might just be self-centred and think that was for me. i've learned to not care/protect myself.

[i can't bloody bold or italic or make anything small because the office system blocks out java scripts] fuck!
i need you so much closer

yes! internet access! woo!

the entire HR department [except me]is at a meeting now, and i've finished my assignment so here i am. i believe the term is 'zhuo bo'. this rocks. i just hope that when they're finished with the meeting, they'll give me some mass filing to do so i can stay here longer and clock a couple more hours. they were chasing me away yesterday when i stayed till 7 [knock off time is at 5.30]. all i was doing was tearing apart peforated pay slips. Lynda, one of my three bosses, asked me to go off if i needed to. but i didn't need to =).

i've got a great view of the runway and there're planes taking off and landing all the time. wait. this is the airport. what ELSE happens. but it's just so cool! it's like your own personal viewing gallery. the people here are really nice. and it's cool to hear all the Australians talk here. their accents make it less boring. it's a great working environment. i can see why everyone works so hard here.

anyway.

okay. i have nothing else to say.

okay FINE. it's actually rather boring when they're all at meetings and i'm alone at my desk with NO ONE to talk to on MSN and there's NO ONE to meet after work. dinner at the airport anyone? please? PLEASE.

and think we have to actually spend our time well in Kenneth's house. or maybe we should just steal his iMac and put it in someone's house. KENNETH YOUR HOUSE IS STIFLING.

everyone in the office has 'Tong Hua' as their ring tone. so happens that it's the only chinese song i like. cool!

LA LA LA LA. i'm alone typing and it's rather boring so i'm taking it out on this entry. LA LA LA LA. i guess i should go tab Wearing Me Out for Victor but i just realised that it's not in my MP3 player and they are unsigned so their tabs are non-existent! woo!

i. shall. stop. here. to. prevent. you. people. from. killing. yourselves.

so will you ever
lift your head up

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
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THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
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THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
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THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
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THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

to everyone for testimonials, wishes, sms-es, gifts, handshakes, butt shakes and as you can see i've run out of things to thank people for. thanks to Ash, Bose, Dalun, Ele, Frans, Joce, Joel, Joette, Kenny, Sze and Vanderstraaten [in alphabetical order. why? i do not know] for the time spent on Wednesday; the cap, the Toys R Us, the pool, the erotic photohunt, the dinner and the starbucks. you guys rock. thanks for the CD Ele! i don't know why, but this year's was memorable. it was low key, but greatly memorable. =)

Darcy you dog. you said you wouldn't show anyone. and you showed Tash and practically everyone else in council you evil, you.

we sounding good at jamming today. =) but not tight enough. had a memorable outing as the 4 of us after that. =)

work is alright. so far, it's filing for $6 an hour. hopefully the more challenging tasks don't come my way.

what have i done?
it's too late for that
what have i become?
truth is nothing yet

the stars say:

maybe i'm just not made for football.

"EASY."

what coach said when i fumbled a pass from Bob. no fitness what so ever, so much for "running with Glasgow". please. ANYONE can run with Glasgow. besides, i can't do it anymore. i've lost it. i can't control the ball for nuts. i can't use my thighs to cushion the ball into the air then pass it nicely. i can't use my head without closing my eyes like a sissy fuck.

"BODY LANGUAGE."

mine. says. it. all. i run like a girl. i'm all spastic all over the place. i don't react fast enough. i lose the ball. i can't pass. i can't kick well. i have no tactical knowledge. why the hell am i even playing this sport?

i think 10 years on, i'll be the one, watching the game at home or at a bar, bitching about it but not knowing anything about while the others are still playing it well.

it's good to be alone at home. gives you all the time and space to drown yourself in your own inadequacy/incompetence.

sometimes i think when my ACFC mates go, "oh, we got Jonny. sure lose already." or when the opposing team goes, "neh mind, they got Jonny. can win one." i feel that it's true. i really don't benefit any team i play for in any way. my mind just goes blank when i'm under pressure from an opponent. i'm just not an intelligent player. why the hell did coach pick me i have no idea. whenever i say, "i'm just in the team to make up the numbers." i sometimes really mean it.

some might try to encourage me.

"but you can run what."

so what.

run but can't get the ball. run like a headless chicken. when you see kids play at void decks or where ever, there are two kinds. those who score the goals, and those who run around hopelessly, making fools out of themselves. i would've been one of the latter if i started at that age.

days like today just prove me right.

days like today happen all the time.

ah, fuck it.

i need you so much closer
i need you so much closer

upon reading vann-ann's blog entry on the 5th of November, i realised that i might have spelt something severely wrong.

"The Halloween party on Monday at Graham's was good, though Paddy was being ze bitch on his blog, calling me some vengeful mamasan or something. Plus, he was so upset that I tried to get him (and Joce) to wear seatbelts when we were cabbing home from the party. Well, EXCUSE ME for wanting to protect your life. And yes, it's Miss Vanderstraaten to you, lad. Haha, look who's being ze bitch now. :) Anyway!"

shit! die die die! then the whole pronounciation changes as well! but it's STILL cool. i am rather shaken by this ordeal now. well actually the meeting with Brother Paul on the 25th is really making me piss in my pants. i really hoped i can get a second chance. that's right, a SECOND CHANCE. it sounds nicer and makes me feel less stupid. then, there's the issue of which combination of subjects to choose again. the new syllabus scrambles things up a bit but when i bumped into louie and phong last night at the prata house [they too are seeking a SECOND CHANCE], they were going to take biology, chemistry and maths again. when i asked why, louie said she wanted to change to arts as well, but it's a totally different style and approach to learning. she said she'd rather stick to something familiar as at least we know the approach to bio, chem and maths. i agree with her but i HATE CHEMISTRY. seriously, fuck chemistry. it is the bane of my existence. on the other hand, it's all a matter of how hard you want to work, regardless of which stream you're in. though i'd rather switch to arts, i'm afraid that taking subjects i've never done before would make it harder for me. but if i retook bio, chem and maths, at least i would be on familiar ground. louie also said that the changes wouldn't be much. i don't know if that's true but her perspective just threw me into a whirlwind. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

she said, "don't go so fast, the arrows on the road are getting blurred."
he said, "baby, where we're going, they don't have any roads."
"what if we get lost then?"
"i'm already lost... in you."
[damn cheesy right? yuck. can't believe i wrote that. realised how cliche it was. but STILL. maybe it'll be part of the song =)]

woo. just came back from Kenneth's house.

we have a new song baby!

stupid Kenneth and his shit iMac with shit mouse and shit speakers and small-ass microphone and lousy laggy iMac and shit graphics and shit knowledge of garage band and stupid McDonald's delivery so slow, make us hungry only.

yet to be named. but woo, it's angsty and is kinda fast. maybe we'll add some more shit to it.

woo!

take, take it away
take it away
take the music away

hmm.

i was in CD-RAMA the other day and notice that they had really cool headphones/ear-phones. pity that i couldn't afford them. then, i headed down to far east for some reason, i can't remember. i saw these really cool fisherman-like bags, like the one i have but cooler. i really wanted to get it since my current fisherman bag is broken thanks to Ashley and Da Lun. asses. then, on Saturday, i headed to heeren to meet Malcolm and JC to choose a CD for Rachel as her present. we waltzed along the vast aisles of HMV to see the treasures they behold. boy, was i in for a treat! Franz Ferdinand's "You Could Have It So Much Better", Hot Hot Heat's "Make Up The Breakdown", the Van's Warped Tour 2005 CD, Taking Back Sunday's "Where You Want To Be" and "Tell All Your Friends", Snow Patrol's "Songs For Polar Bears", Story Of The Year's "In The Wake Of Determination", Thrice's "Vheissu", "The Artist In The Ambulance", "The Illusion Of Safety" and "Identity Crisis", Still Life Projector's "The Dance Riot", Kaiser Chief's "Employment", The Futureheads' self-titled album, Bloc Party's "Silent Alarm", The Walkmen's "Bows + Arrows", Interpol's "Antics", British Sea Power's "Open Season", Hard-Fi's "Stars Of CCTV", Muse's "Origin Of Symmetry", The Strokes' "Is This It" and so many more! wow! was i in for a treat! too bad i seldom buy CDs. in the end, we got Hot Hot Heat's "Make Up The Breakdown" and the Van's Warped Tour 2005 CD for Rachel.

went to Rachel's party on Saturday. her house is just...just. i do not have an elaborate enough vocabulary to describe it. sorry. but there was a dude there making pratas on the spot for everybody and a band playing. coolness.

okay, i don't know why but now, i'm feeling like i have no purpose living. it's not like a suicidal thing. but everyday, i wake up and do nothing. my whole day is either spent on the computer or watching the TV which is fucking stupid. i want to go out and do something but i just got scolded by my mom this morning for going out all the time and that my "friends are more important then my family". like what the fuck? what the hell am i supposed to do at home all the bloody time? she scolded me and brother for being lousy, lazy slobs and that she wants us to do a timetable for the holidays, including "study time, time for computer, time for friends, time for going out" bla bla bla. what the hell? i detest timetables. study time? what the hell am i supposed to study? sometimes i just want to leave the house since whenever i use the computer, my brother would pester me to stop cause HE wants to use it. he would sit right NEXT to me and use his presence to chase me off the computer. along with his incessant questions of, "are you done yet? can i use soon? i want to use." like FUCK, man. and what's more, that's what's happening NOW. at this INSTANT. he is seriously obsessed but why the hell do i care.

okae, i'm just don't know what i'm feeling now. i find that i have nothing fufiling to do. nothing worth focusing on. i hate this. i really hate this. fuck this. fuck it. i now have no mood to write songs with Vic later.

way away, away from here i'll be

"you're always late," someone once told me.

ah, f*ck it.

so here's my LATE entry.

halloween.

quite cool. i actually got to celebrate/acknowledge halloween this year.

went to Graham's place at Ulu Pandan. how aptly named. had a really long bus ride with Jared and Christian. we arrived fashionably late, only to see Darcy the Gandalf/Elf/Lerprechaun/Dwarven Sniper and Graham, the unconvincing incarnation of death welcoming us. i think Darcy was the one who went, "you f*cking c*ee bye! why so late?" oh well.


here's Darcy the Gandalf/Elf/Lerprechaun/Dwarven Sniper. notice how his magical staff is strategically placed in a postion to suggest that something of his is also magically huge? Darcy you perv. what's more, the tip of the staff was on fire. passionate as hell eh Darce?







i have no idea what i was supposed to be, but apparently, it was something along the lines of goth boy. this picture clearly displays my lack of comprehension of the situation at hand and my halloween identity.

so anyway, there was great food thanks to Graham's father and maid who were manning the barbequeue. Jared brought his German Wodka. and i think it was who Joce brought some Absolut. coolness. =)

so, there was Darcy the Gandalf/Elf/Lerprechaun/Dwarven Sniper,

Graham was death, Angel was a vampire, Ele was a witch,

Marie, Manda were witches too i guess [the hat gave it away], Pinky was a gypsy, Miss V.A Vanderstratten was some dead, vengeful chinese lady in a cheongsam [or was she a mama-san].

Jared was some Angel of Death/Goth Boy.

that apparently did not go too well according to Miss Vanderstratten's liking.

Christian was supposed to be a flasher. he had nothing but boxers on inside that trenchcoat.

kinky.

of course, when you have a semi-gay fairy/angel and a derranged flasher, shit happens.

BAD shit.

Joce was a MAN. like OMG. what is the world coming to. also, watch as Jared fusses over his tiara. and notice how Glenn, despite not wearing a costume, looks like he's totally into his demon role.

so as the night went on, the bottle got emptier and the banter got louder. Christian brought his Bose speakers for the iPods and some hip-hop was playing before somehow, there was jazz and big band music and golden classics. we started singing along like drunks, well some of us at least.

here's another picture of Darcy using his magical staff to once again suggest something magical about himself. keep dreaming Darce.

truth or dare wasn't fun cause everyone kept talking in some weird L-language which just defeated the purpose of the game. towards the end, we all sang Ele her birthday song and left Graham's pad. and i'm never going to share a cab with Vanderstratten again cause she insists on seatbelts. like WTF man.

okay, sorry if this entry is utterly boring. i'm just too bloody tired to think of anything witty.

oh and i stole the pictures from Ele. hur hur.

your love is gonna drown

okay. so here's the plan:

get retained.

see what the new syllabus is like during the PAE term.

if i can't cope with it, i'll leave for poly.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

hello to you
my new found stranger
your eyes grow fainter everytime
new found stranger
haven't we met before
well it doesn't seem like we did anymore
goodbye

[if you can't see and bother to actually read what it says, save it, view it]

the Plight:

the Plea [written and printed by Ash and Bose. God Bless Their Souls]:

the weather was fitting
and i forgot my keys
so i put on my ear plugs
and walked without the protection of trees
till the drops stung my eye
till my fringe dropped from high
at the bridge watched the waters drift south
tasted the rain that seeped into my mouth
went back after a thousand sad songs
just in time for dinner

i would stop time to stay with you
i would stop time so we don't move
i would stop time
i would stop time
i would stop to keep you

i wrote an entry about the retreat but didn't finish it and was rather lazy to describe everything.

the main thing is, i felt the prescence of God [without trying to sound all charismatic], i felt a certain clarity in my mind and i think the events just before and after the retreat were the linking of gears to set a greater machine in motion. the retreat was alright but could be better. i made new friends.

i got OOF for my overall score. which basically means i don't meet the criteria for promotion. i'm not eligible for supplementary papers as well, so in short. it's pretty much the end of the road for me. the funny thing is, i kind of knew that my results would be OOF. a week before the official results were released, i knew that i would not be able to promote. after the big surprise of my results, i did not feel terribly depressed or suicidal. it was this clarity of mind that i experienced during retreat that took residence in me.

i saw my results as a sign. from God? maybe. but i see it as a sign nonetheless.

i once told my mom, that if i ever had a chance to take up a career in music, i would definitely take it. it might sound cliche, but i've always loved music ever since i was little; my most memorable toy being a Casio electronic keyboard my mother bought for me as a christmas present. i never learned how to play that thing but i loved it so. anyway, the point is, i realised that ever since i entered CJC, i never had the time to jam or to even meet with the Werd boys. their schedules were pretty much similar, while mine was the one that was the main culprit in clashing with their free times. it was like, they were free on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays to jam. i had training on those same days. it seemed impossible to meet up. what's more, our holidays and exam times kept us apart even more. when my exams end, someone else's exam or school term starts. so while i was free as hell to jam, they weren't as free or were busy with exams. it scared me at one point, as i thought of how it would be like for 2 years, to betoo busy with JC life to jam or get Werd going. then came my results. it was as if someone is telling me, "if you want this music thing to work, JC won't help you achieve it."

i suppose by the time i finish JC, we would've lost the time needed to at least get a footing in the industry. Nick Ng/Fat Nick, vocalist of local band Tien, told me that at our age, it is good time for passing out EPs to gain a fanbase. we've hardly even gotten our act together yet but the point is, the time to start building is now. so i'm asking myself, "maybe God is telling me that i should follow this music thing." He might be showing me a path that i could take. of course there's a question of how the other Werd boys feel about it.

there are also other signs that point to this path. firstly, the connections we have. my mom knows Paul G from Opuz studios. he and his brother, Paul T are well known in the region as well as internationally, i think. but they are professionals, period. he was the one who told me that to make it in this business, we need hard-work and humility. and then, there's Nick Ng from Tien. he said we could open for him if he plays at POW. i played 'The Singer' for him after I Don't Know's performance at Alive+Loud and he liked it. =) he also offered plenty of advice since Tien is already signed.

so, it's like there's this glowing door made of gold and jewels, showing me the way to this path. hmm, that sounded like something out of The Matrix but the point is, it's like they're signs for me to choose that path with Werd.

but what if it doesn't work out? what if it wasn't meant to be and we bomb big time? i'd have nothing to fall back on. i wasn't so clear on this part. i guess i have three possibilities: beg for supplementary papers and get into J2 [the most dangerous and fastest], get retained and do the new syllabus [the not so safe but faster choice] or go to poly and get a diploma and have more time for Werd [the slowest and safest choice]. i'm basically torn between these choices.

honestly, if i could know if Werd were to bomb or be successful i'd know straight away what to do. i haven't told my parents yet but hopefully when i do, they won't go ballistic.

so anyway, it's back to project work. this is another illegal entry using the school's internet. =)

it really feels like the end of the world now.

at the end of the world
or the last thing i see
you are never coming home
never coming home
could i?
should i?
and all the things
that you never ever told me
and all the smiles
that are ever gonna haunt me
never coming home
never coming home
could i?
should i?
and all the wounds
that are ever gonna scar me
for all the ghosts
that are ever gonna catch me

this little snippet of my conversation with Victor made my day:

it was called "Tipsy" when it should've been "MOTHERF***ING WASTED". but first, CJC Open House 2005.

ACFC WAS SUPPOSED TO COME BUT APPARENTLY NO ONE DID. SO MUCH FOR BEING GOOD TEAM MATES. =)

was supposed to be there at 7.30 am to help the soccer dudes set up shop but last night's DOTA-ing proved to be too taxing. ended up going there at 11. played a short match with my bloody Dunks, amidst the wet weather. VERY SMART.

why did i ask ACFC to come?

1. NEIGHBOURS. enough said.
2. band performances. nice to watch!

in the end, #1 did not happen since very little people came. #2 was mentioned cause i was helping out this band fill in the bass role that they so lacked for eons. these guys are good. all very skilled: Bose, Frans and Qin Xian. they never played a gig before, so i thought i could help them out. it's good to help. =)

everything was against Frans And The Pussycats/The Pussycats [take your pick].

firstly, the elements were against us. the wet weather made some teacher cancel our act until the rain stopped. i swear, it was the slightest of drizzles but apparently it was torrential, Katrina-like shit to the teacher. what was he afraid of? i had no idea. it wouldn't be worth [not to mention pleasant] to ask about someone's fear of precipitation. so anyway, yeah. the RAIN. like what the hell. The Redeemed played earlier under the walkway between the quadrangle and the auditorium on the second floor but we weren't allowed to cause some teacher got pissed. unfair? yes.

so we were disappointed as we thought we could really kick arse with the performance, the medley was planned so well by the guys, and Frans' voice would just cause a mass orgasm among the listeners. i went the Performing Arts Centre [PAC] to listen to some new curriculum talk by Ah Bang Paul since i would most probably be taking it with next year's J1s. sat with Nick Pat and his St Pat's homies. five minutes into the talk, i was already dozing off when something in my pants vibrated. Qin Xian called me, "Come to the qudrangle now. we're performing."

i ran to the quadrangle at a speed that would make Mr. I'm-faster-than-a-cheetah-and-your-mom Ariola jealous. apparently, some of the council people [God bless their souls] helped us to convince the higher powers to let us play. woo hoo! but it was the end of open house already, and there were only stragglers and CJ people left to see us play. but hey, who cares. as long as we play. so we played the set, apparently we rocked. we had gathered quite a crowd behind us. they took us by surprise when they cheered at the end of the performance. made quite a din. it was great.

but it was also a kick in the nuts for me. it made me so much want to jam with Werd. currently, our future seemes very bleak. our conflicting schedules are just so fucked up. [sorry, but it's something i'm very exasperated about]. and then there's the issue of our conflicting influences, the questions each of our levels of comittment, what our expectations for the band are. it just seems so out of sorts. now, whenever i think of Werd, it just pains me as the thoughts of our differences come to mind. i really miss jamming. some people just don't know how serious i am about Werd. so let me state it here now. Fuck everything else. SERIOUSLY. i don't want to sound like a tyrant, but really. it's either we all commit fully to this cause or whoever doesn't have any real interest whatsoever can fuck off. maybe it might seem a little too harsh but that's how i see things. it's all or nothing for me. commit fully or just don't do it. i would absolutely HATE to have us be stuck in a rut and remain as fools who are not forward-looking, not progressing musically and becoming stagnant or declining musically. i think it's both sad and sick how people can have a short passion for something because of one small spark and then snuff out the flame completely. maybe it's just me, but i highly dislike it when i see people who are interested in something and commit to it with passion, only to lose interest later and move on to something else or just end up drifting. i think that is really really sad. [not to mention fucked up] for me, it's all or nothing. so pardon me if you're one such person, for i find it extremely appalling.

the point is. please Werd boys. can we please move forward together. please please please.

sigh.

anyway, later that night, i had my maiden clubbing experience.











TIPSY at Indochine

my defloration, de-virgination, hymen-destruction, first time.

yes yes, i'm so unhappening and a loser. go ahead hit me with it.

so i met up with Elsa, Stacey and Jamie at Tangs at around 8-9. headed to the place at around 10 plus.

it was smaller than i expected it to be. it was initially static, no activity, except for the scanning eyes of both sexes across the room. the primitive but instinctive search for a fit mate. oh man, too much Bio. okay, anyway, yeah. we got wind [so smelly] that a raid was going to happen from 11-1. so Liang Bao and i accompanied Elsa as she well to fill up her tank, much to her regret i presume. like a petrol car filled up with alcohol. LITERALLY. Da Lun was a bit wasted too, maybe tipsy and high, but Elsa was wasted already. i TOLD her to EAT before drinking.

so, we re-entered Indo and damn! was it a party already. the dance floor was pretty much filled up and the grooves were spinning with shazam by the DJ who i must say did quite a good job. non-hip-hop fans like me actually got moving along with the grooves. and i finally knew how to appreciate hip-hop/club music for what it's worth. you hear them on the radio, and you think, "oh my god, another mindless song with no meaning, no sincerity." but if you hear Nelly going, "it's getting hot in here/so take off all your clothes" in the sweltering mass of bodies that is the dance floor, you realise that these songs were made for clubbing and dancing in general.

"Err-body in the club get tipsy" the theme song and the irony of the night. people were BEYOND tipsy. they were down-right WASTED. vomit everywhere, the glimpse of the drunken waltz of someone you know, heading to the bathroom to throw up, the Wasted OnEs [WOEs] going up to you saying, "hey i know you! you're a good man!" and then doing the drunken waltz towards the bar to get another shot. it was quite amusing to see such things when you're sober. outside, you could see some WOEs on the pavement sleeping or puking. some guy was so wasted, he went, "eh i want to go clubbing. why you bring me to sit rollercoaster?" another went,"someone call the police, Wisma is shaking." Ash was kind enough [and rich enough] to buy me a Bourbon Coke, which didn't make me feel intoxicated in any way. apparently the sober curse was as abundant as the wasted one. Jared had like 3 drinks and was sober. Graham, Jared, Darcy, Jeylani, Joce and Joette and i all sat outside the club for a breather and expressed amazement and amusement at how the WOEs acted. the Sober OnEs [SOEs] were real handy in the end. as they were the ones who looked out for the WOEs and sent them home or helped facilitate the regurgitation. it was cool.

i know now why people like clubbing and what's so fun about it. some people just like getting wasted. so i guess, if you're one of them, congratulations for attaining your zenith of elation. so anyway, what i'm talking about is the utter bombardment of the senses.

the strobe lights inducing the slow motioness. groovy baby.
the ever-changing lights, giving your irises good workouts.
the music blasting through the night.
the bass lines resonating through you.
the alcohol making everything seem so light.
the smell of her hair, the perfume off her neck. [just being general cause i'm a dude. "her" is no one in particular. i had no necks and hair to smell thank you very much. could be a he if you're a she but could be a he too. whatever make you happy=)]
the mass of anonymous bodies brushing, banging against you.
the sensuous grinding between you and that hot stranger.
kinky.

yeah. and dancing is taxing. not to mention DEHYDRATING. which is another thing. bring your own source of water if you can smuggle it in. i went with Joce and Joette to get a drink at the bar. parched souls looking for a non-alcoholic drink to quench our burning throats. the bartender filled up the glasses with ice, and filled them with Coke [i thought the spraying thing was uber cool by the way]. i used my free drink ticket to pay for mine. i asked how much one glass was. i was expecting a whopping 4 or 5 bucks. "8 bucks," came the reply. i was like what the f*ck! 8 bucks for a 3/4 ice, 1/4 glass of coke? i almost dropped dead. but the dude sprayed the drinks already so we had no choice but to pay. while taking the precious sips of 8 dollar cokes at the bar, other dehydrated dancers asked the bartender for water.

"hi, excuse me. can i have water please? just tap water."

"i'm sorry, we don't serve water."

"just tap water please. i'm very thirsty."

"sorry sir, we don't serve water. how about Ev-BOOM BOOM BOOM"

"what?"

"how about Evian? we only have Evian."

"okay okay. how much is it?"

"10 bucks."

what the thirsty dude said next was what exactly you just said. i almost spat out all the coke in my mouth when i heard it.

i left at about 2.30. others left at around the same time. WOEs left early. some SOEs left with them to send them home.

as i stripped to take a shower [ACFC boys, especially LAN shut up. Lan must be feeling a bit of traumatising nostlagia now], i had a whiff of my shirts. Malboro/Salem/Viceroy/Dunhill/Lucky Strike etc, lights/filtered/menthol/filtered menthol/ultra light etc cigarette smells 'purged' my nostrils. had a whiff of my jeans, Malboro/Salem/Viceroy/Dunhill/Lucky Strike etc, lights/filtered/menthol/filtered menthol/ultra light etc cigarette smells. i ran my hand through my hair, had a whiff, Malboro/Salem/Viceroy/Dunhill/Lucky Strike etc, lights/filtered/menthol/filtered menthol/ultra light etc cigarette smells. ran my finger through my eyebrow, had a whiff, Malboro/Salem/Viceroy/Dunhill/Lucky Strike etc, lights/filtered/menthol/filtered menthol/ultra light etc cigarette smells. had a whiff of my armpit, Malboro/Salem/Viceroy/Dunhill/Lucky Strike etc, lights/filtered/menthol/filtered menthol/ultra light etc cigarette smells AND the sweet smell of the sweat from a night of dancing. had a whiff of my pu-... er never mind.

today, monday, was the day people start asking, "what did i do on saturday night? i can't remember." or people start excitedly spreading the news of what they saw on that night. so funny.

coolness.

anyway, jamming on friday. LEARN NEW SONGS WERD BOYS.

have you ever seen
eyes so deep
that you'd drown in an instant
a smile so sweet
that you'd die of saccharine poisoning

i'm supposed to be happy now but i'm not. i'm supposed to be a free, untamed animal, poised for partying but i'm not. i'm supposed to be-... you get the picture. it's not about anything about the heart. ToNFILA remember? it's about my bleak and uncertain future. oh my god what a boring and uninteresting emo-fied entry. sorry to bore you.

WAH RETAINEE SO ATTITUDE.

don't stop bury me
and don't look back
oh baby don't stop bury me
and fade to black

i think i can go start a retainee/re-takers club with Colin, Lan and Dom. we can call it:

so goodbye
to you and your life
your new best friends
your confidants
turn my hours into days
and i'll be here
when you get home

i was looking through old photos when i stumbled upon a couple of interesting ones.

i realised that from a very young age, i knew i was a butt man.

the smile says it all.

stop, turn take a look around
at all the lights and sounds

well, i'm not supposed to be blogging. Promos are here.

but you just have to see Ben and Caleb's blog. HILARIOUS.
lame things that are really funny and just a site full of funny shit. cool links as well, though i don't recommend Pen Island. SERIOUSLY. DON'T GO THERE. though now, after i've mentioned it, millions will flock to it.

hmm, it seems that ToNFILA is catching on pretty fast. well, to those contemplating ToNFILA, no pressure but really, if you want to, WELCOME. it's not like you're going to be judged or anything. no pressure to join really. don't want to be some fad, or cult-like craze. it's just a choice. one that can be changed. not that i plan to change it anytime soon. =)

i'm doing cartwheels
i'm doing cartwheels

oh my god. it's hilarious.

to learn more about ToNFILA and it's random, fictional origins please visit Kenneth's Blog. i promise you aching sides and enlightenment. more so for ACFC members.

and if you'd like to watch our theme song's video, check it out on my Friendster profile.

i'm coming over but
it never was enough
i've thought it through
and my worst brings out the best in you

random post. random post.

this is on my Friendster Profile:

"Saturday, September 17, 2005:
since when u learn how to lie??oh pls lor..dun bluff lor..i noe tts ur brother..l0lx..edison is mine..u lyk him too izit??sorry he wun lyk u..he onli lyk mi..thanks..hope u r doin fine..n hope u wun gt fined..take care byee.."

every fibre of my body was cringing in absolute horror, in an exponentially increasing snowballing effect, with the passing of each character in my eyes. no offence to the fellow ex-MacPhersonian but really, aoufasklgbIUWF;KBFAIWEFA;SIDVFAWI. i'm still shuddering. i hope you will not.

and i think Liverpool will lose.

oh and Colin just joined the ToNFILA club. we're going to have an initiation party for him later on during the match.

ToNFILA members so far: Victor, Colin, Elsa, yours truly and anyone else who has adopted ToNFILA, even without knowing it, in one form or the other. we have yet to include other members. KENNETH you ass. you'd better join. DOM ALSO. LAN DON'T THINK I FORGOT ABOUT YOU. hmm, maybe Da Lun would like to join us too. we need to start the ToNFILA revolution!

and we sing...

I HEREBY DECLARE SINGAPORE IN A STATE OF MUSICAL EMERGENCY.

a while ago, i heard a song on radio. not just ANY song. it was "Under Pressure" by The Used featuring My Chemical Romance.

has your heart stopped beating yet?

[before i go on, i would like to say that whatever is about to be said, is my opinion. so to those who want to get all smart and just and take the law into their own hands and sue me, my family and my fish, PISS OFF.]

WE ARE IN A STATE OF EMERGENCY.

as you know, The Used and My Chemical Romance are good friends:

hence, they wrote "Under Pressure" as a collaborative effort. i only saw them perform it for the MTV2 concert. [you see, it's either MTV Cribs or a concert].

watching it then was already so enthralling. therefore, it's supposed to be an exclusive song right? as in, MCR and The Used are already non-mainstream bands [particularly The Used since MCR has become increasingly commercial with "Helena"]. still, they are pretty much rocking bands you like who are not tainted by the commercial, mainstream pop poison of many record companies. thankfully, they are signed to Reprise. but NOW, the song is on RADIO. like what the hell is going on? is it a desperate ploy to reach out to gain a greater fan base? trust me, MCR already has a growing number of supporters who only like them for "Helena". i admit it IS nice. but because it has catchy hooks, there are many kids who support them for SOLELY that reason; that "Helena" is catchy. the other catchy one is "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)". what these songs are doing is giving the wrong impression that MCR is just like those bands out there who incorporate pop in their work to make themselves more marketable. but really, if you have the album ''Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge'', you'll realise that those two are the lighter sounding songs. they were used to catch the attention of the neutral listener. the other songs are much darker and less kiddish material i should say. as Gerard Way said it, the album is "part horror story, part personal experiences.'' HORROR STORY. so kids, STAY AWAY. it's NOT FOR YOU. please please please, go stay away from MCR and The Used.

stop acting like you're all rebel and shit, that you deserve reverance because you know the lyrics to Helena. do you even know what Helena is about? it's about the Way brothers' deceased grandmother. please do not cheapen such a solemn song. if you see past the catchy chorus, you would feel the painful overtures that have inspired so many MCR songs. that is, if you can even see past the catchy chorus. do you even know who the Way brothers are? please kids, go back to your Good Charlotte and Simple Plan. they USED to be cool. when they first came out, they were kick arse bands. look at them now. LOOK AT THEM NOW. LOOK AT WHAT THEY'VE BECOME.

Simple Plan were okay, but since their first songs were so laden with pop, they were already doomed to become the next boyband with guitars. still, they were relatively cool, i liked a lot of their songs. then they had to put "Perfect" on the airwaves. to me, that was their undoing. because of that song, the worst thing that could've happened to them did happen: they were worshipped by kids. as a result, your sales go up. because your sales go up, the marketing big wigs stuff their pockets full of cash. but for them, it's never enough. so, what do they do? they want more money. where do you get that money? from kids, of course! how do you get money from kids? why, by making your songs kiddish and pop! of course! how simple! and so, Simple Plan shot themselves in the foot, moving on to their new fans [the kids] and forgetting the people who liked them way before they even got close enough to smell a record company. so what are they now? sadly, another pop group. they won the MTV Asia Award for BEST POP ACT.

Good Charlotte. i must say. i LOVE their first album. that one was the BEST. i don't think they can make another album like that ever. that album was full of classics. that album made me admire them. "Motivation Proclamation", "Little Things", ''Waldorf Worldwide'', ''Festical Song''. anthems with meaning. songs with sincerity. then what happened? coincindentally, even though in my opinion it was their best album, it did not sell well. why? i do not know. but it should've sold millions of copies. so what did they do? they became POP. ever since ''Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous'' was on the lips of almost every candy-eating kid, i knew that Good Charlotte was going bad. but so what right? as long as they make money. ''The Young and the Hopeless'' sold much better and brought in more revenue. GOOD NEWS I GUESS. so what do you do when your pop-sounding album earns you money? you make another ONE! ''The Chronicles of Life and Death". wow! WE BELIEVE! WE BELIEVE! IN THIS LOOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEE! MY GOD. i seriously feel for GC. they sound more boyband than ever.

therefore kids. PLEASE. STAY AWAY FROM THE USED, MCR AND ALL THE OTHER BANDS THAT I SO REVERE AND ADMIRE. DO NOT TAINT THEM. DO NOT TOUCH THEM.

Gerard, Mikey, Matt, Ray and Frank. i salute all of you for your great resolve in thrashing out one of the greatest sounds and lyrics i have ever heard. if you DO become popified, know that i will always love the work in Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge.

Quinn, Bert, Jeph and Branden. Your wonderful style has entranced many listeners. you guys have my utmost respect and admiration. both your albums have distinct sounds and not many bands can pull off different elements in a new album and still sound like themselves. salutes to you. please do not become popified.

as for those who share the same sentiments, i suggest that we all go look for new bands that rock. as a precautionary measure against the popification of our current loves. the search for new sounds and new bands is on. we need to share them with each other and not the kids.

pressure
pushing down on me
pushing down on you

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent.Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art. You would make an excellent: Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer Dancer - DJ - Graphic DesignerIllustrator - Musician - Sculptor The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

[can't see? highlight the empty space below the picture.]

tried to study in school yesterday. guess i did make a bit of progress.

i went home and kicked a deflated ball around with Lan, Colin and the neighbour across the street. NO, not neighbour as in neighbour. as in, an actual, person-who-live-near-you neighbour. please, ''neighbour'' is a word reserved only for the ethereal.

after that, in an act of spontaneity, i bathed and cabbed down to my old friend Alex's house for his birthday party. my god, his house is practically in another country. "ulu to the ma" would be apt to describe it. i wonder how he gets home from NJC.

anyway, i was the only one from MSHS Pri class of 6C 2000 there. i thought he had contacted all the old guys. fortunately, i was late and didn't have to withstand much of the awkwardness. i was in time for the cutting of cake though.

THERE WERE NO NEIGHBOURS.

so sad.

then, i played a little DotA on his computer. then, had a little chat with Alex.

i remember back in Primary 6, when we were like the best of friends. i would always be going to his house, playing his computer, action figures and all the cool stuff he had. eating lunch there, doing projects. when i was in his house again, it all just started coming back. you know, that wave of nostalgia.

it made me want to meet up with all the other guys from 6C again. sadly, we more or less lost contact with one another, though i have a few of them as contacts on my MSN Messenger. the good old days in Primary 6, sigh.

i can still remember. it was me, Ryan Lee who went to ACS (B), the twins, Jeremiah and Joshua, the every heavy duty Nicodemus, Ian Chua the "dao-kia" [funny how it rhymes], Alex and me. we were all at the back of the class, it was after exams. we had nothing to do, all periods were free periods. so someone brought out his Contemporary English Dictionary and we decided to show one another our extensive vocabulary.

Ryan went to the "F" section and enlightened us with "Fellatio". if you don't know what it means, check the dictionary. then again, it's not necessary to know what it means. i admit i was a bit of a nerd back then, so i got all excited and flipped a few pages forward to the world-reknown F-word. to me, it was a big deal. i was rattling out the various forms of the word and all the examples given in the dictionary. the other guys, being seasoned professionals barely batt an eyelid.

as the giant book went around, we discovered words no Primary 6 student should know. i was thinking of elaborating, but on second thought, i'll just leave it up to your COLOURFUL imaginations to fill in the blanks.

ah, those were the days.

and we all sit round
here in our home town
it's so good like this
these are times we'll miss
the memories i hope
will never fade
glowing embers fly
across the sky

TUESDAY.

went to school planning to study. went a little late bet met Elsa there anyway for Penang Hawker's Fare and York Hotel. i don't know why we went so early but we had ICE CREAM to whet our appetites before that.

the food was WHOA. though the portions were rather small, the food tasted great nontheless. the tangy laksa, the tasty char kueh teow [with the evil, evil see ham], the delectable kueh teow soup, the prawn mee and the sweet and creamy ice kachang. i'm not one who really likes Asian food but once in a while, an indulgence into the East won't hurt.

i later discovered that eating see ham is NOT a good thing. diarrhoea later that night was testimony to that fact. anyway, had fun eating [like who doesn't?] and iknow SOMEONE is expecting a 'thank you' so THANK YOU ELSA FOR THE TREAT. dom's going to be the next vic-, er, person who's going to benefit. good luck dom.

MY FIRST TIME

i went to zouk! i went to zouk! i went to zouk! like WHOA! me of all people went to ZOUK! what is the world coming to?!

yes, i know. i'm rather an idiot and very unhappening to have stepped into a club for the first time. it was Seventeen magazine's 3rd Anniversary and Alyssa had invites so she invited me. woo! Christine and Amelia came along too and before long, i actually stepped inside of zouk! like WOW!

well, it was quite surreal really, with an 'upstairs' and a 'downstairs'. just like how it looks like in shows like The OC. and then, the flashing lights, humangabanga disco ball reflecting all the rotating spotlights and bad bad music. it was a 60s theme and they were playing 'classics'.

Randall what's-his-name [or that guy on TV] was hosting the event which also happened to be the finals of Seventeen's Miss Seventeen. they had an early trivia game and i was so eagerly volunteered by my three 'friends'. music from the 60s was played and we had to guess the artiste, or the song title. the other two contestants had all the easy ones! i had familiar ones but not the ones you would be able to put your finger on straight away. i looked like an idiot then, and had to get the crowd to answer my questions for me. i felt so stupid. oh well. i got the freebies anyway.

then, the pageant began. three CJ people were amongst them dammit! Ashton, Kelly and Dell. apparently Ashton and Kelly were called up to make up the numbers as other contestants didn't quite make the cut. they were there to make it seem like it was a close call but really, since they already had contracts, they couldn't win anything. in the end, this contestant, Tisha won. i don't know if it's just me, but some contestants were really catty. bitchy, rather. hmm.

3dash1, the winners of the Straits Times School Of Rock competition gave a performance. if not for the lamer being their frontman, i'd think they're okay. he was trying to cover up his um, genetically inherited accent, although that he did well, it was still evident that it was bogus. if you heard it, you could tell that he was Singaporean. their so called talismanic song, "And If You're Gone" proved to be more pop than rock. but then again, they admitted that their catchy hooks and riffs were aimed at the pop-listening crowd. i think their drummer is really good. he made it seem so effortless. he was the one keeping it all together while the guitarist/vocalist was struggling with his sore throat and the bassist could only be heard by the ants centimetres away from the amplifier. maybe they didn't have the best of soundchecks. they played a second song, maturely titled "My Crush". power chords, the usual progressions. i bet they didn't play that song for the competition cause it was your usual pop-punk song. doesn't catch your attention the first time you hear it. anyway, one good thing was that they were tight. oh well, don't really think much of them anyway. so, whatever 3dash1. maybe my expectations were too high.

when the pageant ended, it was supposed to be a 'party'. but NO ONE was dancing. then again, the music was still BAD. so who could blame them. so we left for great world for some Maccas. that was when the damn diarrhoea reared it's ugly head. i had to go relieve myself twice. damn see ham.

like whoever thought of opening a tightly shut shell fish and decided to eat it's contents anyway? i mean, do you open this thing from the sea, probably covered with mud and seawater. after much effort you finally open it and see a mass of bloody tissue, probably squirming. at which point of that ordeal do you go, "FOOD!"? i guess it's an acquired taste. if it is then, it's one taste i do not wish to acquire.

had fun though. HEE.

the fire department couldn't drown the city
they didn't even try to wash it clean

just came back from school. soccer with Ash, Dalun, Paki and other mates. i suck. must save my words for the oncoming onslaught later.

so here it is.

I Don't Know. second time performing. ALIVE + LOUD '05.

i must first thank Jude and Nick Pat for all they did for I Don't Know. they are like the crux of IDW. enjoyed playing with you dudes. fabulous stuff. as for Dom. IMPROVE SOME MORE DAMMIT.

we practised weekly since July i think. we got tighter and improved individually as well. kudos to Jude for taking charge of the arrangements. he made all the calls, knew the right people. praises to Nick for improving so much since RC Superstar. dude, if you're reading this, don't stop playing man. keep going and become the master basser you can be. Jude did well too, wanted so much to impress us all with his improved finger work. YES Jude, we know you're good. don't have to keep proving yourself to us. haha, but you were great man. Dom was Dom. enough said.

okay, i can't busted my band mate like that. Dom improved, albeit which much practice. it only proves one thing man. that when you practice, you become damn good. so don't stop practicing, "Werd" needs you to keep banging those drums.

it wasn't a very good day to begin with. despite my valiant effots to mug in the morning, i ended up wasting it away. then, suddenly, they called to say that sound check was at 3.30. it was 2.15 and i was barely ready. i had a madness fast shower and cabbed down to bras basah complex to meet Dom and Ash Tay to get the replacement AC-Adapter for my Dime. bad news. they didn't have it. only the Swee Lee at Sims Drive had it. so we cabbed to Sims Drive and got the adapter which was FORTY BLOODY DOLLARS. i could swear right now just recalling it dammit. then, we headed down to church. the acoustics in the hall were as bad as usual. so we prayed that it would be nice enough for people to enjoy without cringing from feedback or bad volume balance.

oh well. it was soon show time and we were nervous to be the starting band. usually, we would need a little warming up to get into the mood but this time we were thrown straight in. after my lame ass prayer we began with "Wherever You Will Go" by The Calling. i guess it kind of got the crowd in the mood a bit. but they were SEATED. like how can you get high like that? so we got them to stand up. that was when the alive + loud got really ALIVE + LOUD. i think i looked kind of gay trying to get the crowd going. oh well, it's all for a good time anyway.

and i ZHAO SIA-ED. oh my gosh. feel quite ashamed. but at least i didn't when it was time to sing, "TO NEVER FALL IN LOVE AGAIN!"

the crowd was awesome really. TP people moshed, St Pats people sang along and moshed and jumped, the rest were equally awesome and i hope they had fun. Lester said we set the mood, and i'm really happy that we did that. the least we could do for Eternal Dawn and John Klass.

thanks to those who sang along, who screamed or even just smiled or clapped along. it was a blast. thanks to Lan, Colin, Victor and Kenneth for showing up. showing a little ACFC support... not to mention looked for neighbours. =)

it was great.

it was great.

it was super.

thanks to everyone who made it great. let's do it again sometime soon. =)

And we sing
If we're going no where
And we sing
If it's not enough
And we sing
Sing without a reason
To never fall in love
To never fall in love again

sorry! slipped into the pandemic of irregular updating. i'll try to update more often. =)

okay, so. a brief entry on the past week then.

hmm, last Sunday i helped Denise with her Final Project. it's a short film titled "Regret". it's about this boy, Kent, who dies and then he gets a guided tour of his past with the Angel of Death. he bears this grudge against his mother for supposedly chasing his father away. as he relives his past and finds out the truth, he then regrets not treating his mother better.

i found it rather fascinating though it was rather tedious. and i liked the food. =D thanks Denise! too bad i had to play the dad though. i had to say evil, soul-destroying lines that would make the recipient commit suicide.

here's one part:

"SCENE 5: Pavement – DAY

MOM and DAD are arguing.

MOM
How can you do this? How can you choose her over us?

DAD
You're always working.

MOM
I'm supporting you and paying off your debts. Or have you forgotten, now that you're with your pretty, little bimbo?

DAD grabs MOM.

DAD
She's more of a woman than you could ever dream to be.

MOM walks away but turns around.

MOM
I'll sign the papers."

i swear, i hope i'll never have to say, "She's more of a woman than you could ever dream to be" EVER. it's so bloody EVIL.

as if those lines weren't enough. my jack-ass dad character had to totally busted his wife. here's the other part:

"DAD is sitting at the dining table, MOM puts a plate of food on the table in front of him. She sits next to him and starts to eat but DAD just stares at MOM.

MOM
I think we should give this one last try. (Pushes brochure towards DAD) I know this counselor-

DAD looks at the brochure, swipes it away and stands up. He has turned away from Mom.

DAD
I don't want to have anything to do with this family. Just sign the papers, Denise and I will be leaving the country soon.

MOM
What about Kent?

DAD
What about Kent? He won't fit into our
life. You raise him.

KENT is shocked to hear this and turns to look at AOD.

MOM stands up to clear the plates.

MOM
Let's not start again. Kent will be home from school soon.

DAD
I'm leaving.

DAD stands up, grabs his luggage and leaves the house."

[please pardon the singlish but] wah lau, knn the father is really a bustedizing busted la. and apparently the dad leaves the mom for Denise. =D

so yeah. that was Sunday. [21/8] it was fun!

then on Wednesday we had a match against SRJC. i didn't play but what the hell, not like i would've aided their cause. but one thing is certain, we out-played SR like hell, though the score line did not agree. we went down in the first half by really bad marking during a corner. but we kept our heads up and pulled one back 5 minutes or so later. Sheer curled the ball in right from the corner. magical stuff. Hafiz also shined like a supernova. he was simply untouchable. he practically waltzed through the midfield and their defense. evading all the tackles that came in. it was as if it was pre-cognitive. like her KNEW what was going to happen. at one point, he evaded 3 people who were sticking legs out at him, trying to get the ball. what he did was so magical, i couldn't comprehend it. i only remember cheering really loud and watched as he passed the ball away. he also had his lightning pace, and his elusiveness and appeared to be everywhere on the pitch. simply untouchable. some of the other guys were saying he had a "Butterfly"on him; the DotA weapon that granted 25% Evasion. others said he had boots of speed, the other DotA item that granted 90 movement and teleportation. my god, i sound like a DotA geek, but really, i'm checking from the website. hee.

anyway, we really played well and should've won. we looked sharper and fitter. the individual talent was enough to annoy them and one of them got send off after two yellow cards. but that guy deserved it. he wasn't playing anyway. he just strolled here and there and shouted and clapped. didn't contribute. the final score really took the gloss off our performance. oh well, it shows promise for CJC Soccer.

which then brings us to today. well, nothing much.

oh yeah. Liverpool won the Super Cup. not the most exciting of matches. but Liverpool didn't play exceptionally well to win it. Cisse's goal were sheer luck and their performance during normal time was not convincing at all as European Champions. seriously, i do not know what a lot of them are doing. i have a feeling Benitez's purchases were a bit rushed and that the players do not have the quality he feels they do. Zenden? yeah, he WAS good but his recent displays don't demand a second look. Alonso's once mezmerising passing has also gone awry; punting balls too long many times. Gerrard has been rather erratic. he seems to be like a warp drive engine. going all out, ripping defences for a couple of matches, then, he needs to recharge to do it again. not like Lampard, who can go 20 games without burning out. sometimes i envy Chelsea, but then again, so does everyone else.

oh well. i don't WANT to talk about promos. so bye.

"i'll sing along
the whole day through
just do your best to hear me
it's all you can do"

a long long time ago, too long ago for a blogger, i donated blood.

yes, my school was hosting a blood donation drive. i guess it was more curosity than generosity that drove me to donate some of my crimson essence.

i first had to fill out a form which had rather peculiar eligibilty questions. all of which were yes or no questions.

some examples were:

"Have you ever had clinical or laboratory evidence of AIDS or HIV infection?
For men: have you had sex with another man, even once, since 1977?
Have you ever injected intravenous drugs?
Have you engaged in sex in exchange for money or drugs since 1977?
Have you ever received clotting factor concentrates for hemophilia or other clotting disorders?"

and,

"Have you had sex in the past 12 months with:

-A person who has HIV infection or AIDS?
-A prostitute?
-A person who currently or previously used intravenous drugs?
-For women: a man who has sex with another man (that is, a man who is bisexual)?
-A person receiving clotting factor concentrates?
Have you had syphilis or gonorrhea?
Have you received a blood transfusion?
Have you experienced an accidental needle stick injury or a blood splash to mucous membranes (tissues lining the eyes, nose, or mouth) or broken skin?"

well, okay. my parents haven't even met each other in 1977. and i pride myself in being a virgin. so practically every tick went to each "No" box. there were some questions pertaining to my recent travel history. i must admit that i lazily ticked "No" for some due to uncertainty on when i last went overseas. oh well.

anyway, after the registration, i went on to get my blood pressure checked. those with low blood pressure were not allowed to donate for they would not be able to pump blood into the bag effectively. after the blood pressure test was blood screening. there are many types of tests, including colorimetric haemoglobin test where a haemoglogin photmeter is used. it is a machine-read result from a chemical reactionon a testing strip. but a more economical and faster way of testing was the copper sulphate test, which was what was used. the concentration of haemoglobins is measured by dropping a drop of blood into a copper sulphate solution. the solution is calibrated so that concentrations above a certain amount would make the drop of blood sink. in other words, if your drop sinks, you're eligible. i sat there and offered my finger. without warning she whipped out one of those pricking things used to puncture your skin deep enough to bleed a significant amount of blood for testing. it stung like an ant bite for a couple of seconds. then, she started squeezing blood from my finger into a little tube. when enough was collected, she dropped the blood from the tube into the copper sulphate solution. i'm happy to say that my drop of blood sank like the Titanic.

she gave a prompt "Thank You" and showed me to the Evil Blood-Sucking Nurses (EBSNs). these fiendish beings were the ones who would suck you dry. anyway, i was ushered to a recliner and was told to wait. soon, i was attended to. one of the EBSNs took my registration form and with a few quick strokes of a pen, filled in the official stuff. she took my blood pressure again then went off to fetch some pills and brochures. she came back and shoved them to me. "Iron Tablets, please take them once a day. These are for you," she said, like how a bored EBSN who said it 9875616465 times before would. the brochures they gave were overflowing with words of great appreciation, of how important you are to have given a pint of blood, of how you can save a life. like, come on, it's just a pint of blood. it's not like i saved the world or anything. i guess they were just trying to make you feel important. nothing like a little ass-kissing to make you feel good about yourself. anyway, she used the blood pressure reader as a torniquet and pumped up the pressure on both arms to look for the vein most closest to the surface of the skin. mine was on my right arm, opposite the elbow

then came the crux of what the EBSNs do. she pulled out an empty blood bag and hung it on my tray. she untangled the ominous mess of tubes and singled out the one with the cannula, the fat-as-hell needle that they stick into you.

first, she disinfected my arm with what looked like the bigger brother of a ear cotton cleaner, which was soaked with a green alcohol-based disinfectant. she swabbed the area for about a few mintues - a good move considering how unsanitary my arm can be. then came the anasthetic. "This is going to sting for a while. it's the anasthetic. after a while it will get numb."

and just like the EBSN before, before i knew it, she stuck the damn needle in me. it burned more than it stung. the anasthetic formed a little lump in my skin. she waited a while for the effects of the anasthetic to take its course. then, with the cannula in hand, she stuck the fat thing into my arm. i was half expecting it to hurt a little, for she only waited a few seconds for the anasthetic to work. to my surprise, not only did it not hurt, i didn't even feel the needle get stuck in my arm. i had lost all feeling in that area. cool.

she then put a stress ball in my hand and asked to slowly squeeze it, so as to pump the blood out. so i sat there, squeezing the ball, feeling quite happy - oh yeah, with a fat-ass needle sticking out of my arm.

like what the hell? it's actually kind of freaky but cool at the same time. notice the dark colour of the tube? that's the blood. well, duh, yeah, but you should've seen the blood course through it like it was just another vein. you could feel the warmth of the red liquid through as it touched your skin. cool. when do you ever feel your body heat from the inside out?

i was quite fascinated by it and took another photo.

yeah. a close up of the fat thing sticking out of my arm. coolness!

it was quite interesting to see the blood flow down the sides of the bag into an ever-growing pool below. here's what it looked like:

coolness. kind of looks like Ribena syrup.

anyway, the process took shorter than i expected and any hope of skipping many many many many periods was immediately erased. in the end, she removed the fat needle - with me silently thanking God - and cut the tube and drained some of the blood into different test tubes to be sent to the laboratories for testing. she put a cotton swab over the hole in my arm and asked me to put pressure on it. like, hell yeah would i put pressure on it. if i didn't my arm would be like a damn blood fountain. so she patched me up and gave me this really cool green elastic bandage with chic dark green dinosaurs all over it.

don't you just LOVE the dinosaurs? although there were others which were equally cool. like the blue one with monkeys, the yellow one with bumble bees, the orange one with SMILEYS [I SO WANTED THAT ONE] and the pink one with purple hearts which was ass-ugly.

oh well, i got free biscuits, milo and a red cap for it and i wouldn't mind "saving another life" again if they came back.

"Found a box of sharp objects
What a wonderful thing"

ah screw it! i'm bloody tired of waiting for the bloody pictures of my bloody blood donation from bloody Darcy to bloody update. so therefore, i shall just give a normal update.

hmm well, apparently...

MY BLOODY BLOCK WAS ON FIRE TODAY. THAT'S RIGHT, POTONG PASIR BLOCK 137 WAS ON FIRE TODAY. who turned the caps on? bloody hell. yeah my block caught fire today! well actualli, it wasn't exactly like a 14 storey building engulfed in flames. the 13th floor caught fire. well, not the entire 13th floor but one unit on it. and it wasn't realli like flames pouring out of the windows, menacingly licking the neighbouring units. there was just smoke coming out of it. and it wasn't like thick, black columns billowing from the windows. it was just like, you know, little wisps gently floating by. alright FINE. so it wasn't that big a thing but how often do you see fire trucks riding into Potong Pasir?

outstretched arms lead by extended index fingers, accompanied by the sound of voices going, "ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen. oh it's the thirteenth floor." here in little Potong Pasir things like these don't happen much - apart from the occasional ambulance for another senior resident with a cardiac arrest. sometimes i think we Singaporeans need a little excitement in our lives. you look to the U.S [once again. sheesh, the yanks are like the quintessential reference for almost everything] and you see high-speed chases, bank robberies, some daredevil doing some impossible stunt, planes crashing into buildings, oops a bit too far. anyway, my point is, Singapore: too safe to be exciting? you always have some rule for something that's presumably dangerous but at the same time may provide some form of fun or excitement. take for example, moshing. what's wrong with moshing apart from the fact that you might fall and get trampled on, or piss someone off and get a black eye, or just basically get hit all over which is one of the main objectives of moshing. well, you might say, "you just bloody said it dammit!" but think for a second. isn't moshing - FUN? i mean come on! how often do you get to dance-cum-shove-people-around? what's more to your favourite band playing live? i don't know about you but count me in. another example is body surfing. it's body surfing dammit! how much more fun can it get, aside from being groped by several sets of hands and maybe getting pick-pocketed. but body surfing! the last time i ever witnessed body surfing was during the free POD concert back in 2001 i think. then again, there was no security. but seriously, bands get a large portion of the energy they need to perform from the crowd. if you're supposed to be a high-energy, gut-busting act and your audience is just standing there moving their heads, how are you going to go on? they need to be jumping around along to the beat, singing along to the choruses. that's the complete gig experience. it's not just watching a bunch of guys playing songs.

anyways, National Day coming up. i hope i don't get to be one of the broze-painted ones who start Act 1 of the parade. i'd rather be on guard duty and protect bags and stuff.

okay, got match starting soon.

oh wait. did it mention that i've been MISSING PLAYING AND JUST BASICALLY HANGING OUT WITH ACFC? shit man, it's been like weeks. and i've been hearing about conflicts and matches lost. like what the hell? come on boys. we're a team. look out for each other. ultimately we work towards the same goal. try to look from each other's perspectives. come on, where's that spirit we have? i know exams and committments are coming up, but remember the fellowship yeah? always remember the fellowship. WOP! and maybe we can all dota together one day.

WOP!

"to hell with you and all your friends
to hell with you and all your friends
it's on"

this will be quick and concise:

1. Racial Harmony day. two words: NEIGHBOURS; ETHEREAL. [and the additional WOP!]

2. Training on Friday. one word: BAD.

3. Parent-Teacher-Meet a few hours ago. two words:... let's just say that the first word is a strong adjective in the form of a verb in the past tense and that the second word is 'up'.

4. NDP Preview as a standby on the Arts and Culture Float. three words: not too bad.

5. I Don't Know performing soon. [20th Aug] one word: WOOOOOAIYAAAAIIIIEEEEHHHYAAAAAH.

"Were you born to resist?
Or be abused?"

boys and girls, the word of the day is ETHEREAL. E-T-H-E-R-E-A-L.

the very word to describe the last day of Bay Beats 2005. i spent the entire evening there and man, was it worth it. great music, great atmosphere and an unprecedented surplus of neighbours. what more could you ask for?

met up with Elsa and Dalun who were with a couple of folks from CJ Dance [vic, 10 dollars added!]. at the Arena a band was already playing. i didn't want to miss out on any good music, so i pestered Elsa to come with me to see who was playing. it was local band, Kate of Kale apparently and they rocked! of course, being a narrow-minded-hardass-on-local-music Singaporean, i stood there with a less-than-enthused crowd, mimicking their folded arms and listened. i dare say, i am ASHAMED for not jumping or anything because they were GOOD. they were as tight as any a-size-too-small thong and they had a nice, emocore sound, with unusual chord choices and riffs [which i totally adore]. the vocalist sounds like your everyday emo rocker, complete with the signature screaming of emocore. he didn't scream a lot, but their weapon of choice was their dark but catchy riffs. overall, they didn't miss a beat or note; like i said, tight. they deserved more than just a hearty round of applause for their performance. respect to Kate of Kale, hope you guys do well.

at the Canopy, a band was playing alternative sounding instrumentals, with samples from a DJ included. don't really know much about them but instrumentals aren't something to look out for in Asia i guess. almost all their songs had chord selections like that of Papa Roach's "Decompression Period", only on different scales. it was catchy, but the lack of melodies from vocals made it rather bland as it went on and on and on.

then, it was COPELAND! they were having an acoustic set at the Village and MY GOODNESS were they ETHEREAL. they took a while to get ready on the little shelter-like stage, with only a couple of speakers next to it. a crowd, larger then the area was meant to hold, swelled up and poured onto the walk way. the lead guitarist Bryan and rhythm guitarist and ETHEREAL vocalist Aaron. to me, the greatest test of a band is whether they give you goosebumps and make you feel like you forget everything, even for just moment, when they're stripped down to just a single instrument like a guitar and a voice. Copeland just did that. i swear, the recordings on their album does NOTHING to flatter them, i'd say that it was horribly produced and engineered but what do i know about those things. serioulsy, listening to them live and listening to the album is an entirely different experience. anyway, they did songs i never heard of, songs like "Coffee" and other. they all sounded kind of similiar, most of which were played in G.

they didn't look like the kind who would blow you away at first. Aaron looked severely deprived of melanin and Bryan looked like an expat pencil pusher. both were dressed in jeans and black t-shirts. the weapon of choice is voice. my god, Aaron's voice was ETHEREAL. pitch perfect, tone as clear as glass, delicate but strong. ETHEREAL. the structure of the songs were simple but the way he sang them made them sound like magic. Aaron then did a little snippet of "Brightest" apparently one of their better-known songs and man, was it nice. a delicate ballad, sang with the heart. it was all nice and pretty, and they already proved that they were godly with just the guitar and the voice. i eagerly awaited their full-band performance that was later in the evening.

but before them, it was our local heroes, ELECTRICO! i have something to say to those who dislike them, HAVE HEART. ask yourself, when did you ever hear a local band with such tightness and impeccable melodies? sure, they're not hard and they have pop elements in their songs, but in today's era of 'the kids', pop is needed to hook ears and listeners; you're not a sissy-pissy-wussy-pussy if you like even just a little bit of pop. sheesh, even COPELAND has contemporary pop elements in their songs. Electrico isn't half as pop-ish as Simple Plan and GC. seriously, even if they're not your style or whatever, they ARE good and deserve respect no matter what. they toured Australia dammit! how many local acts even do gigs in MALAYSIA? you HAVE to give kudos to them for crafting songs which don't sound like any other band in the USA. it's different, that's what makes them stand out. if you've listened to their album, you can hear the sweat, blood and tears put into every song. ever noticed that every song sounds different? they're not fillers, every one of them was made to be potential singles. i totally respect ANY band who puts in that much effort, not like many of today's lazy-ass bands who use the same chords and beats and themes over and over [think Story of the Year's Page Avenue]. so here's my salute and pump of a fist to David, Desmond, Daniel, William and [ohhhhhhhhhhhh] AMANDA. may you guys keep on rocking and paving the way for Singaporean bands. someday, when Singaporean acts go international, they will remember Electrico for starting it all.

their live performance was testimony to their skill. they were TIGHT. and it was very amusing to see that they tried to liven things up with quirky antics. Desmond the bassist was donning an Ultraman mask for a few songs, before spinning it into the crowd. he was also a very good showman, getting the crowd to clap and cheering along. Daniel the lead guitarist, who i must say is extremely talented, kept it alive by jumping and moving. David, was being the cool cat, stroking his guitar and belting out those vocals. Daniel was keeping it solid at the back with the drums and Amanda was just so, ETHEREAL. sigh. anyway, i think it's sad that the crowd was not so open to Electrico as most of them just stood there or just bopped their heads a bit. David had to keep requesting that the crowd move around or jump more. i think it's really sad that a local band that has made it so far has to ASK for support from their fellow countrymen. COME ONE PEOPLE! what will it take? will you only start dancing after they undergo plastic surgery to become white? the only way for a local band to break out of Asia is for them to have immense support from back home. bands in the USA can make it because they have massive support from their home town folk, after which they tour around the country, gaining a huge fan base. so please, at least respect Electrico.

for the record, they were awesome live, they played new songs from the upcoming album and i must say they are good. they played an unreleased song, "We're Not Made In The USA" in response to hearing about someone who bought their album and liked it, only to return it when she heard that they were local. what's more it was a GREAT song. and they managed to squeeze in the malay children's day song into it. they were GREAT. and Amanda was ETHEREAL.

THEN, it was COPELAND! my god, i swear, they should remaster the damn albums. hearing them live is so much more invigorating then listening to the CD. they are so tight! close your eyes and it's better than the CD. Aaron turned into rocker mode like this:

and totally rocked the place. the bassist, was also really funny. there was once when Aaron asked who's birthday it was and he sang them his own version of "Happy Birthday" which was ETHEREAL. then, the bassist wished all those whose birthday wasn't that day a Happy Sunday.

my goodness, COPELAND really was awesome live. the songs were so much harder and full of energy. and Aaron's singing was FLAWLESS. he could reach all the high notes without using his falsetto and without breaking the tone. my god, incredible singing. i was enthralled. up to this day, i still could not believe i heard such singing live. and his voice did not deteriorate as he sang more songs. he really managed it well. it was amazing. truly amazing. IT WAS ETHEREAL.

i also loved the entire festival-ness of Bay Beats. incredible. also, NEIGHBOURS! EVERYWHERE! and they were all ETHEREAL! including 10 dollars added.

ETHEREAL!

"Like the brightest little firefly..."

this was what the Head of Department of Mathematics in my school wrote on the front page of my Maths-C paper:

"Dear Jonathan,

Obviously you have not studied. Don't waste your time here. Quit school and join the army."

well, that just sums it up doesn't it? i'm not complaining, i know i deserved the marks but maybe i could've done without the kind words of encouragement. and today, i got the last of my A-Level subject papers. triple-kill, hat-trick, treble, turkey, 180 or whatever sports or other term used to describe achieving [if you can call this an achievement] something three times; i got the killer combo of FFF for my 3 A-Level subjects, all of which i fully deserved.

it's of no surprise to me really, since i wasted my entire holidays. i never knew i could be so apathetic. i just didn't bother [as how Lan would say it, but don't worry Lan, i'm not blaming you]. i can't explain it, but i just didn't give a - crudely but simply put - shit. not sure why, but i've got demons on my back but i'm somehow not refusing to deal with them or just simply not acknowledging them. i'm running and it's kind of the way it is now. studying didn't seem like an option at all. music, football, TV and currently, DOTA; all that i dangerously shoved into my head to escape. escape from what i do not know. or maybe i do know but it's just that i refuse to believe that IT is the reason. i just don't know how or what to feel anymore. apathy is quite addictive. neither love nor hate, but it still gets you through. hmm.

oh yes. CEO of NKF T.T Durai is having a little fun in court for his 'abuse' of the peoples' money. i don't need to say anything. oh well, maybe an "I SO BLOODY TOLD YOU SO!"

i told you it wouldn't hurt to remain skeptical and keep such possibilities in mind. but NOOOoOooOoOoOoOoo. i'm f*cking SLANDERING! someone arrest me for something that is the antithesis of freedom of speech, the brother of democracy! quick! quick! cuff me! then when something like THIS happens, you turn and give sheepish smiles and act as if nothing happened! well, fine by me. i don't need to say anything, the silence i get in return is ORGASMIC. i mean come on! didn't the dime a dozen charity shows, NKF donation cards, salary pledges, company sponsorship and all the other things that make them look like Chelsea even make you a tiny bit suspiscious? for all you know, this little "golden tap cum first class tickets" fiasco might just be the tip of the iceberg. you never know, mayhap, a full-on dastardly embezzling conspiracy might unfold. and who better to report the progress than the ones being sued, Singapore Press Holdings! though as a national publication, they must be impartial and objective in their reporting, they have enough license to be a tad bit biased and might have articles with stronger than normal opinions. be sure to witness the monsterfication of the NKF, even IF it's just a little tiff about golden taps and first class tickets. on thing's for sure, future NKF charity shows are going to have to have much more celebrities begging and those numbers at the top of the screen aren't going to be jumping from $234,586 to $465,758 in 2 seconds anymore.

hmm, a little immature i know, but i'm a Scorpio; so it's kind of written in the stars that i'm supposed to be vengeful. hee.

anyway, i guess it's time to snap out of apathy and actually do something. BayBeats coming up! up for it anyone? Copeland and Electrico on Sunday!

"Say you won't care
Say you won't care..."

Over here he stands alone
His heart turning into stone
He's been forever
Trying to coax
The singer to
Sing a few notes

But the singer keeps
Pushing, pushing away
Not listening to what
He has to say

Now he's slowly
Slipping over the edge
His heart is breaking
Just like the ledge

He's been standing on
For so long
He just wanted to hear
A song

The singer had to
Take, take it away
Take it away
Take the music away
Take, take it away
Take it away
Take the music away

He sees the singer
In the crowd
From a distance
He wonders aloud

Why his shadow is
Dancing 'round him
He just wants the
Singer to sing

Now he wonders if
He's still worth the song
What if in vain
He waited for so long

But he still
Stands his ground
Hoping that the singer
Would come, come around

He would never say never
But no one can wait forever

The singer had to
Take, take it away
Take it away
Take the music away
Take, take it away
Take it away
Take the music away

Faded, like a dream
It faded, like a dream
And maybe
It was just a dream
It faded

The singer had to
Take, take it away
Take it away
Take the music away
Take, take it away
Take it away
Take the music away









"The singer sings
For someone else"

Werd's first ever gig at the black box on June 14th wasn't all that perfect but it still rocked.

yes well, we all met dhouby ghaut before heading to Plaza Singapura for some last minute errands [camera film, maccas and drumsticks]. we headed to the Black Box and heard the other band [i don't know their name] pumping out Velvet Revolver's "Slither" albeit with much improvisations during the solos. it was no doubt they were good and upon hearing them, i felt a bit dejected as i had a bad feeling that they would out-rock us [if there's such a word].

we were the last performers and i was nervous that we would be the audience's anti-climatic end to a climatic night. you see, the good people who were there to rock out with us had spent the last two days in an anti-smoking awareness camp, co-organised by CJC. some CJC folk were facilitators in the camp and Gao was in charge of getting bands to perform for the finale night. he hence invited Werd. hee.

anyway, as i was saying, i was kind of intimidated by the other bands awesomeness but i decided to go on with the show anyway. "Cigarette" was first, an acoustic song we turned electric. kind of ironic to sing a song called "Cigarette" for an anti-smoking awareness camp, i know but we did it anyway. why you care? it was quite a nightmare debut.

our drummer [no mentioning of names here, right dom? :)], i suspected, had the jitterbugs and went off beat twice during the song but it's understandable. i was nervous too. we were a bit tense for the first chorus and my clip-on microphone [think the gay as sunshine gang of high-5], was too soft to hear the back-up vocals. the cable for the bass was too short too and i accidentally yanked it to far and it came off the jack on the amp but thankfully no one seemed to notice. i guess we all kind of let go when we jumped half way through the song. the crowd kind of enjoyed it.

OH and EUNICE OLSEN and Brother Paul were there too. man! Eunice Olsen!

sorry for that afterthought.

anyway, on to "The Singer". i felt kind of disappointed with "Cigarette" so i thought, 'what the hell, let's give em' all we got with the singer." unfortunately, all we got was quite simply, shit. well, it wasn't anyone's fault and i'm not blaming anyone, just out misfortune. i'd say we worked pretty hard for the gig and are pretty much tighter than before but the worst had to happen. Kelvin took over the clip-on microphone for "The Singer" and still, it wasn't loud enough. so, the entire song did not have the harmonies it was supposed to have. worst of all, the solo at the end was totally NON-EXISTANT because the output on the distortion pedal was too low all of a sudden. quite sad really, and i'm still kind of upset about it.

oh well, at least we weren't booed and people actually liked "The Singer". coolness. oh well, take it one jamming session at a time i guess. hmm, Prince of Wales backpacker's pub next time maybe? mayhap, mayhap.

kudos to the Werd boys, we all did our best. just keep it going yeah? take it one day at a time, and see what happens for us next.

"Faded, like a dream
It faded, like a dream
And maybe, it was just a dream
It faded..."

my mother's refusal to repair our wrecked computer has led to me to live off other people's computers to update. yes, right now, i'm using Elsa's Compaq EvoN1000v with an elusive wireless connection to update.

the events that are happening before me now are somewhat intriguing. a social norm, mayhap, amongst the femmes of us homosapiens. subjects A and B, well, let's not get too cold, Jacqueline and Elsa, are participating in some sort of peculiar ritual where fabrics shaped in various forms and patterns with an abundance of colours are being exchanged and donned. references to the database indicate that such rituals are performed at the prepubescent stages of a female's life. it is testimony to the fact of the female's biological desire to seek co-operation among peers. it is believed this ritual is known amongst the females as "dress-up". the form of "dress-up" i am currently observing is a more advanced form, which involves the taking of photographs which have a high probability of being shared amongst other femmes or perhaps, hommes as well.

forgive me. i was trying to sound like a cyborg version of Sir Richard Attenborough. sorry if that sounded a bit sexist; i was just bored and did that out of pure random-lame-nity. so please, don't SUE me. i've had ENOUGH of people threatening me with slander after reading the contents of my blog. i believe the solution is simple: if you don't like what you're reading, DON'T READ IT.

anyway, i have totally wasted one entire week and one day of the holidays doing absolutely nothing productive or beneficial to my preparation for my exams. so what's new huh. hee. my entire consciousness was simply drifting in the mental space-time continuum, dissipating into the vastness of billions of consciouses [if there is such a thing]. oh boy, it's happening again.

well, Werd's first gig of the year on the 14th of June at the Black Box at Fort Canning. PLEASE COME IF YOU CAN TO SUPPORT S AND OTHER BANDS THANK YOU!!!!!! we're most probably playing "The Singer" and some other cover song that is tentatively "Cigarette" by Yellowcard. why tentative? well, the gig is the climatic end to some anti-smoking campaign, so. i guess a song which shares a title with the very thing the campaign is against isn't a very suitable choice. but it's nice! so we'll see.

seriously, my mind is devoid of thought or anything worth harbouring in my brain cells. i feel so non-existant. also, i have this very frightening apathy towards my exams. at least i my flesh wasn't as weak back when the dreaded O's came. but this time, i don't even lift a finger or glance at my books. i just sleep and sleep and sleep or surrender my mind to the television. certainly what i need now. and gaysery is rearing it's ugly head again.

oh well, enough of that. time to rave about something.

i know! My Chemical Romance. they have reignited my dance with emo. punk/ska beats, melded with hot riffs and chords with Metal influnces and bossanova takes with raw, engaging vocals by Gerard Way, and the two harmonising guitarists, Ray and Frank. seriously, these guys are talented. the good friends of The Used sing about and most probably are themselves, anti-heroes in love. coolness! i like every song in Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge but my current favourites are "Helena", "To The End", "Ghost of You", "Thank You For The Venom", "You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison" and "The Jetset Life Is Gonna Kill You".

oh, i ALSO want to rave about Liverpool, CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE.

it was another night for the boys of ACFC to converge, have a ball with an XBOX, watch the final and skip school. this time, TWO XBOX stations were set up, thanks to Lan and his blue XBOX. one had WE8 on it, while i played DOOM 3 [which scared the shit out of me] on the other one.

well, before the match, to mentally prepare myself for the disappointment of Liverpool losing, i kept telling myself that Liverpool would lose. That way, i wouldn't have that much of a shock if they DID lose. Dom [the bloody convert] thought that i had no faith in my team but KENNETH knew very well why i said they we're going to lose. i guess only TRUE Liverpool fans understand.

the match couldn't have started in any worse way. Maldini volleyed home the corner and i thought my mental preparation would come to good use in the end. but deep inside, i had been stabbed. when Crespo hit another 2 in, i was distraught as hell and decided to watch the remainder of the match with a half-awake mind; i dozed off. Dom woke me up with his exclamations when Gerrard scored Liverpool's first goal. it was a quality header no doubt, the captain showing why his name is Steven Gerrard. he was fired up after the goal but still, i kept to my mental preparation, as false hope at this stage would bring a much bigger disappointment if the score-line remained as it was. "consolation goal" i thought. but then, 2 minutes later, Smicer fired home a beautiful grounder. it was strange, the moment he lifted his leg, you could kind of tell that it was going to be a goal. it was one of those destiny goals, written in fate's script. then, the penalty. my heart momentarily stopped when Dida saved it and when the ball hit the roof of the net after Alonso's follow-up effort, i was on my feet, all fired up. Dom, Kenneth and I watched with hope. but by then, after such a remarkable comeback, you'd just think, maybe the cup is Liverpool's no matter what happened. The penalty shootout was the most drama-packed one i have ever watched, very much like the one in the game between England and Portugal in the Euro 2004 cup. this game was won with a save, not a goal and that's what made it so special. we were dancing when Dudek made that magic save - which was still not as magical as that double-save against Shevchencko. elation at it's purest.

the aftermath of the match was testimony to the fact that Liverpool fans are the best in the world. i wore a Liverpool Jersey everytime i went out for the next few days after the final and everytime i saw a fellow Liverpudlian, we would pump our fists in the air and exclaim, "YEAH! LIVERPOOL!" once, i was walking past a car at a zebra crossing and the driver, after seeing my jersey, wound down his window after he turned and shouted, "LIVERPOOL! YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE!" it was so heartwarming. i swear, i love Liverpool FC more and more each day. Probably the best club in the world. watch out for next season, when the changes will be bring more glory to Anfield. ah, Anfield. i SO have to go there before they move to Stanley Park.

hmm.

"Light up
Light up
As if you have a charge"

so here i am. illegally updating using my mom's laptop which was not supposed to have internet connection [sure.] i'm fatigued and a bit miserable but i'm still here. so.

right.

hmm. CJC sports carnival today. don't want to talk about the soccer event. it was SO reminiscent of the inter-class soccer competition in MacPherson. sigh. feel so LOUSY. nothing but lose, lose, lose, lose. hee.

anyway, watched the final instalment of the Star Wars Saga today. have to say that it's leaving me pretty miserable and sad. the whole film is just so sad. i don't know about anyone else, but in spite of all the awesome graphics and battle sequences, Anakin's submission to the Dark Side just pulled a gloomy curtain over the entire film. have to say that hayden christensen really did a good job to make Anakin the tortured soul he is. really. Elsa was like all raving and swinging her imaginary lightsaber all over the place after it but i was just so affected by the film's sadness. what a way to end a saga. one thing the film DID do was answered all the questions prior to Episode 4: A New Hope. like how Vader became Vader, how Luke and Leia came about and what happened to the Jedi. ANOTHER really cool thing for me [and for all the fans of the Star Wars vehicles] was seeing the predecessors of the ships shown in Episodes 4, 5 and 6. you got to see the early TIEs and early X-Wings [which had 6 foils that made them look like insects]. in the end, all droid forces got shut down, which explains the absence of any droid presence in Episodes 4 to 6. anyway, great film but it is truly, truly sad. if you have a little Star Wars fanaticism in you, you'd be feeling miserable after you watch it. or maybe it's just me.hee.

ANYWAY, looks like my little post about the NKF ruffled some feathers. well, to the one being offended, please let me apologise for offending you. i ad intended no malice in the entry, i was merely speaking my mind. last time i checked, what i did wouldn'tve gotten me thrown into jail under the ISA.

let me provide an analysis of that post and conclude if it warrants a lawsuit for slander. :D.

paragraphs 3 and 4 are merely implying the indifference and apathy towards the stunts or acts these charity shows are instilling. by constantly showing stunts or performances that remain at a certain level of technicality or difficulty, the audience would become desensitised to its supposed awe. paragraph 4 also states that the charity shows are becoming more like their name suggests, SHOWS. they become more like entertainment programs rather than the awareness they are supposed to inculcate. because of this transformation into an entertainment program, indifference rears its ugly head again. people would ultimatey get bored again and those who donate because of the stunts would stop calling. the simple fact is this: if a kid like me is not entertained by inter-lorry tennis, would the majority of people be? we are at an age where mass media makes everything possible. we have soaked up almost every 'impossible' stunt. would a locally produced stunt be any more entertaining?

again, up to here, no 'slander' is present. i was merely stating the effects of the stunts performed. IS THAT A CRIME?

okay. paragraph 5: "another thing is, how genuine is the whole affair?" this paragraph was stating concern over the authenticity of the intentions behind the performers' actions. if you read the entire paragraph, no accusations are thrown, no absolute terms were used and no sweeping statements were made. [thank you GP teacher] the paragraph merely entertained notions.

"what makes us so sure that they aren't secretly getting paid to perform or that they do it just to gain publicity?" is there an accusation here? did i make a well-concluded statement that the celebrities ACTUALLY get paid to perform or ACTUALLY do it for publicity? no. the fact is, i merely asked if we can be sure if their intentions were genuine.

"then again, they might be counting on you to have that mentality so that you do not suspect such deeds." notice the use of the word 'might'. what it implies is that there is a POSSIBILTY that it may be true. the sentence's implication had no fingers pointed saying, "THEY are using our no-one-would-exploit-charity mentality to suck our money!" once again, no accusation here.

the subsequent 2 paragraphs are just supporting examples to the earlier two points.

paragraph 8 seems to have been the main feather-ruffler. upon reading it again, i can understand why a pro-NKF person might feel offended but fret not, it is actually quite harmless.

"they have the collection from the students, private companies as their benefactors, government subsidies, people who give part of their wages to them every month and overseas donators. and they still need money?!" this statement is merely an expression of concern as to how genuine the call for donations is. it just expresses the need to know where the money goes, and how it flows. it wouldn't hurt to know such things and would greatly put the donors' mind at ease if they know how their money can help.

"it leaves me to suspect that there might be some major embezzling operation going on." though this might seem like an accusation at the NKF, it is not. i was merely entertaining the notion of embezzlement in the case of excess money. i don't think notions come under 'slander'. do they? then if i suddenly have the notion that the president is an alien, would i get arrested? don't think so. satire was intended for this statement but i guess in words, it just doesn't look funny. so, my bad.

"what makes you so sure that the figures they flash on the TV aren't the real amount collected to make you feel that you should call more to add more digits?" in this age, the media holds a very large influence on our lives, it educates us, shapes our perception of reality. is it wrong to challenge what we always believed in? is it wrong to think differently, to not conform? truth and reality blur in this century and it is important not to always believe what they tell you. [once again, thank you GP]

"are their costs really that high? no one knows. and why does it have to be so hush-hush all the time? you never know." these are further expressions of concern as to why donations are needed. it is testimony to the fact that there is more entertainment than education going on in these shows.

"call me cynical if you want but it doesn't hurt to fathom such thoughts, so that you won't be surprised if such things are true. if anyone is offended or disagree, just take it that i sometimes get really paranoid and i have a serious perception problem. maybe I need donations for treatment." this paragraph was a disclaimer of sorts. it was a warning. i was aware that people might get offended, so i declared my abnormal thinking as the root cause and that no one should get offended. the last line was an intended pun. if you get offended by that, PISS OFF LOSER.

the last paragraph contained some suggestions of mine to help improve the cliche-ness of charity shows. at LEAST i offer some suggestions and not just bitch about a lot of stuff and not offer any positive input at all.

so please, to my 'victims'. please don't get offended. i truly am sorry, i didn't mean to deliberately tread on toes. i don't see a need to trouble the higher autorities of NKF just because a 16 year old kid thinks the NKF charity show is just one bit scam. seriously, WHY THE HELL DO YOU EVEN CARE. i'm just a dumb, insignificant little student. so what if i think this way? why should you let it affect you? it's not like i'm telling the world that the NKF is an evil organisation. SHEESH.

i suggest relaxation. a spot of tea? a couple of scones, you know? sit down with a good book. i recommend "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...And It's All Small Stuff" by Richard Carlson, Ph.D. the little sub-title says it all: "Simple ways to keep the little things from taking over your life." or perhaps you'd like "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren. you know, good reads to get you over this little tiff. please, look at the bigger picture. i'm just a kid. straightnening me out doesn't prove anything. i'm at a stage in my life where i'm supposed to rebel and question authority. can't i enjoy my days of rebellious behaviour and thought? do i have to conform so quickly? i'll leave it to adulthood. but for now, just let me be. hee.

"haven't we met before?
well it doesn't seem like we did anymore"

i feel like i'm the only one on Earth, with everyone else in spaceships, flying by. Einstein's theory of relativity couldn't get more real as the past few days have flown by unlike any other "swoosh" phases i've ever experienced.

well, school's been alright, if you take away the stress. 'mountain' is the metaphor used to replace homework and assignments. tests are hitting me like mad. it's like i'm stranded in an 8-lane highway, occupied with nothing but long-nosed cabs, with blind drivers behind the wheel. i have a double whammy coming on Wednesday, which is technically tomorrow. damn. Chemistry and Biology tests. Biology is going to be the death of us all.

anyway, i've changed my name to Paddington or Paddy for short in school. Darcy [D.Chee] christened me so and i like it. reason for the change of identity? the 987546798465498465 other people called 'Jonathan' in CJC. Jonathan from this school, Jonathan from that school, Jonathan ONG from that school. sheesh. just call me Paddy.

Werd's been rather stagnant, but new ideas have been manifested and all we need is a little collaboration with the guitarists/vocalists to get the gears moving. gigs at POW; simply mouth-watering.

things are moving really fast.

"now i'm lying on the table
with everything you said"

well, was in an unusually happy mood today. school went by in a flash.

went to Elsa's grandmom's wake today. could tell she was really upset by her loss and i feel for her. felt the same way about my 'gong gong' whom i still miss. "View From Heaven" reminds me of him everytime it's played on the radio or in my head.

sigh. the message is in "writing's on the wall"

i was at some 'zhi char' stall in the MacPherson road area, having dinner with my family and some of my mom's friends. food wasn't that fantastic but then again, i never had an affinity for chinese food. anyway, on the television at the stall was the NKF Charity Show. i have some things to say about it.

these charity shows are some what of a growing trend these past few years. and one ever-present component in the shows are the 'dangerous, life-threatening' stunts the celebrities go through to garner votes from viewers.

the celebrities apparently put their bodies on the line for charity, sacrificing themselves to perform stunts that are potentially fatal or might cause them to lose a limb or become seriously injured. two words: overrated and exaggerated.

take the show today for example. celebrities are performing songs upside-down, blood gushing into their heads. after the performance, they do the cliche-filled sympathy talk, asking for calls to donate. we've all seen it before. jumping through flaming hoops, jumping off a speeding car, playing tennis on moving lorries. i mean what is this? the entire thing has become a bloody circus. the focus has changed. people are no longer calling because they want to help, they are calling because they pity and sympathise with the celebrities performing the stunts. it's become a pay-per-view circus show. "well, at least they donate" you might say but will this method of getting donations really last? i mean, there are those who donate for the real people who need it but there are those who base their donations on the risk-value of the stunt or the entertainment they get from them. and in the entertainment industry, nothing is forever entertaining. it's already showing signs of ineffectiveness, based by the lack of calls during the shows. for all you know, people might just stop calling one day.

another thing is, how genuine is the whole affair? are the celebrities genuinely concerned and want to help? or is it just another acting job for them? after all, many of them ARE actors and actresses. what makes us so sure that they aren't secretly getting paid to perform or that they do it just to gain publicity? you might say, "no, never. it's charity! why would anyone want to exploit such an innocent thing?" then again, they might be counting on you to have that mentality so that you do not suspect such deeds.

i mean honestly, you can sometimes tell if someone is over-acting or showing too much concern and that it's all bogus. take one performance in today's show for example. a bunch of people were doing a Musical Fountain-like performance where they acted as water sprinklers, spitting out jets of water as light fell upon the jumping streams in a colourful collage. they emerge from the performance wet, cold and shaken, as if it was such a difficult ordeal. they were all wrapped in towels, shivering as if they were in a freezer, sipping from cups of hot drinks as they gave their sympathy speech. i mean, COME ON! first of all, kudos for such a creative performance but are they really that desperate for donations that they must put on a shivering facade to milk every last drop of sympathy from us? the harder they pull the udder, the drier we get. they were wearing swim suits for goodness' sakes. swim suits keep you WARM when you're wet. and it was pretty obvious that the cups they were sipping from were empty. the children in the performance gave it away really. they overdid the "pity the shivering kid" bit. it's just water being spat out, it's not like they were left to soak in a tank for hours on end. and it's not like the air-conditioning in the studio was at -9875616549846 degrees.

then, there was the relay-race cum escape from the tank of water thing. my goodness was it dumb. someone, apparently Kym Ng, was chained down into a tank that was being filled with water. other celebrities had to go around doing stunts to get keys to free the drowning Kym in phases. jumping through flaming hoops, very much like what lions and big cats do in circus performances, jumping off a car after ramming through fences to grab a key hanging in mid-air and so on and so forth. and guess what, in the nick of time, drowning Kym is free! i mean honestly, they are trying too hard. they have more theatrical nonsense than a never-ending soap opera [no reference to Days of our Lives]. all the falling down while running through the blazing maze, falling down while playing tennis on the lorries. any idiot can tell that it wasn't accidental. heck, if they were in a football match, they'd all be sent off for diving. honestly, it's come to the point where it's all pointless and ridiculous. the stunts and performances have attained the status of "cliche". if you look up "cliche" in the Oxford Dictionary a few years from now, you would see "celebrity stunts on chraity shows" as one of the examples used to describe it. it's just plain getting dumb.

another thing is, why the hell does the NKF need that much money? they have the collection from the students, private companies as their benefactors, government subsidies, people who give part of their wages to them every month and overseas donators. and they still need money?! like what the hell? they're richer than the the people in the Middle East, bathing in oil! they still need money?! it leaves me to suspect that there might be some major embezzling operation going on. sure you might say dialysis is costly, but is it really that expensive, surely there is some excess. then where does it go? is it secretly siphoned into some unknown higher management big boss' pocket? what makes you so sure that the figures they flash on the TV aren't the real amount collected to make you feel that you should call more to add more digits? are their costs really that high? no one knows. and why does it have to be so hush-hush all the time? you never know.

call me cynical if you want but it doesn't hurt to fathom such thoughts, so that you won't be surprised if such things are true. if anyone is offended or disagree, just take it that i sometimes get really paranoid and i have a serious perception problem. maybe I need donations for treatment.

so how do we get donations if bogus stunts mar the whole purpose? real life stories always score. they can make real-life documentaries about how those people with kidney failure and whatever ailments they have live their lives with such burdens. charity shows should have more of such video montages. they are the ones that will tug at heartstrings and make people pick up the phone and dial the number. people with the condition can write biographies and publish them along with addresses and numbers they can call to donate. sometimes, doing the small things can help in a bigger way. brochures, heartland events to make people aware. the television is overused.

damn, have a test tomorrow. i hate mugging.

"he's been waiting
she's got the hidden intent
to tell the story no one's told"

what the hell? how come my March 31st entry came out witht he test entry? then what about my other entries? my god, i swear, i want to kill the people at blogger for allowing glitches like these.

okay, i remebered something i mentioned in one of my never-published-due-to-screwed-up-blogger entries.

i think i'm the only weird enough to experience it, but i think i discovered a new feeling. i call it, "GAYSERY". no reference to homosexualism though. gaysery is the peculiar phenomenon that happens when one experiences elation and misery at the same time, hence the fusion of the adjectives "gay" as in happiness, and "misery". i only happened to discover it during my first few weeks in CJ. it's like, i would be having fun, joking with new friends and happening people, then when i'm on the way home from it all i'm miserable. it's not because i have to depart with them that makes me sad. heck, i see them in school everyday. oh well, my gayserable days are wearing off now. CJ's been alright though the days are long. i THINK i'm the soccer CCA. as in, i train with them, but that's it. hmm, need to bring my game up.

my therapy for gaysery though, was hanging out with the good old, ACFC mates. our own brand of humour and retardedness always makes me happy, no gaysery whenever i'm with them. the fellowship in ACFC is one that can last for a long time and i hope it does. it's really sad to lose a friend, especially good/best friends. true sadness comes when you lose a friend and the true happiness is knowing that you have one when moments of true sadness comes. oh my god, that sounded like one of those irritating chain letter e-mails that tell about friendship and then threaten you with a love-less future if you didn't send it to all your friends. but yeah, ACFC mates, i hope that our fellowship would never be broken for whatever reason. in the words of Lan, "brothers for life" ha. or was that on the DFC captain's friendster account? oh well. let's hope that our kids would form ACFC II or something and continue the legacy that is ACFC. the neighbour ratings, the racism, the football, the works.

people, look out for the phenomenon that is Strike.Fire.Fall. you have been warned. they are coming and it won't be long till they take over you. but still, keep them obsecure long enough to make us early fans feel cool. thank you. Werd's first gig at POW might be a possibility. look out folks, make POW your favourite night-life place in May. you never what who might find on the stage.

hmm, had league session today. was rather fun. we all jammed with the drum machine in the Yamaha Electone after that. was damn fun.

"glowing embers fly across the sky.."

test

hmm. CJ.

so far, it's been cool. but there's something funny about it though. maybe it's just me but when i'm in CJ, i have this weird...i-don't-know what. it's like i'm happy and gay as sunshine there but miserable at the same time. i wasn't feeling this way in SRJC. hmm. but yeah, CJ's been cool.

well, i've been soaking up the CJ experience and i think imma gonna breaka thisa down into segments or something, otherwise there'll just be nothing but a complete mess.

Facilities, Environment...Blah Blah Blah

hmm. haven't exactly been into every nook and cranny in the school but it's pretty much a nice campus. it's got this warm, homely feeling about it. it's also very, WARM, literally. for some reason, heat gets trapped in almost every space of the campus, so wherever you go in the school, on a sunny day, it's hot. in the canteen, it's HOT. at the grandstand, it's HOT. in the middle of nowhere in some corridor, it's HOT. it takes a while to acclimatise to the CJ weather.

the campus looks big on the outside, but it actually is rather small. and there are little stairways and such at corners and places you wouldn't really notice. so there's pretty much access to anywhere in the school. ONE pathetic thing about the school though, is the field and track. the field is being replanted or something. hence, the soccer team has to book outside pitches to train in [more of that later]. the track is the sad one. it is this little two-lane, 330 metre retangular circuit. AND it is stated in some official guide thing, that the 90 degree bends are to simulate actual marathon conditions. sure sure, and the pimples on my nose are there to give me a more dynamic complexion.

the canteen is rather small. not to mention, hot. fans there are scarce. the classrooms are small too and with the influx of dragon babies, making up such a big-ass cohort, they're even smaller with more tables and chairs added in to compensate for the increase in class size. there's this new block though. looks nice but it's only for the J2s. so, next year then [or next, next year].

ugh. enough about the building. BORING.

People

the wonderful thing about the people in CJ is that they're really really, really really really, friendly. it's not difficult to make friends there. they're the kind of folks who let you in on their conversation openly, so that you don't feel left out. maybe it's just the '88 babies that are like that, but they're really nice people. they are also happening people. friendly and happening. McRon and Tuo Zhi are fine examples. on the first day, McRon helped me settle in. Tuo Zhi helps me to meet more people. coolness. and thanks to the both of them. it's a bit cliquish though but tell me a place where there are no cliques.

OH and another thing is, they all communicate in ENGLISH. HALLELUJAH, English-speaking folk. no cheena-ness. some of them love speking in the English language so well, that they can do accents! how cool is that? my classmate, Darryl can do an English accent! i was very excited when i heard him do it. he can also do Italian, French, Honkie and many others. he and i were conversing in different accents in Sentosa on Tuesday. COOL-NESS. then his friend, Christian, ALSO can do the accent and his normal speech is that of an Englishman! like, WHOA! we can like form some Englishmen club or something and go around school talking in the accent and annoying the shit out of everyone. i can be Herbert, and they can be Rupert and Hubert or something.

due to the recent orientation program, i feel that we've all kind of bonded really well. the school is rather united. it's not the kind of unity whereby it exist only in big events, it's the ever-present kind. it's like, almost everyone knows everyone. coolness. the people there are also rather enthu. hence, the school is mostly buzzing the whole time too.

Sub-Component: Neighbours

well, neighbours. hmmm. there really isn't a shortage. but i feel that it can be improved. ha. i don't know. haven't been really looking all over the place but i think there are a few HMJs around. but still, there's enough to please the common phallus-armed animal.

oh boy, i'm quite spent now. er, will continue another day i guess.

"We trace the sun across the sky
And we laugh till we cry"

don't really have the mood to blog. but the first day in CJC was alright i guess. kind of boring really. maybe it's cause it's the second time they're doing it, so it's less enthu. but the people there are alright. friendly-folk. well, it's actually thanks to Elsa to introduce me to my first acquaintence: McRon. funny guy, can tell that he's damn famous in the school.

it was surreal to be in a Catholic environment again. i was shell-shocked when they said prayers in the morning. like, WHOA, i never said prayers as part of assembly for millenia. really surreal. felt like i was in MSHS Pri again. speaking of MSHS Pri, saw a lot of my MSHS Pri school mates. still can remember their names. Manfred Seet [now an altar server at IHM], Darryl [the tow kay], Henry Teo [chicken], Trevin [don't know why, but the memory of him that immediately pops into my head is the one where he takes a damn long piss in the toilet. hmm.]. think there might be more but it's still the first day and i hadn't had the chance to fully immerse myself in it.

i don't know. something about CJC. maybe i've been so entrenched in cheena and heartland culture for the past few years, that i just feel uncomfortable there. what's more, i'm from MACPHERSON. like what the hell? CJC's like SJI, IJ, ACS, MSHS territory. who am I to suddenly try to fit in. i don't know. just feels awkward. ah, fuck it. maybe's cause it's the first day.

sigh.

"This silence kills me faster
Than a bolt of lightning
It seems, it seems, it seems
That i'm quickly fading

Perhaps i'm already gone
Perhaps, perhaps
I no longer sing for anyone
Mayhap, Mayhap"